hello! It’s Jenny. My best meatball friend is on vacation! So excited for Sara!! A restful vacation is
just what the doctor ordered!! And I’m here. At home.
With that said, it is really easy to get distracted during this time. Our journeys our a little different right now. Ultimately, I Am sure we want similar things. Right now I am a little distracted with life. I am giving into the ease of convince. I’m starting to see how everything circles around again. The challenges haven’t changed. I’m really trying to remember, I’ve changed!!! I always want to make food the easy thing. but when I do eat poorly it is so easy that it’s kind of exciting. And at the same time it just feels like a shitty, guilty one night stand!!!! Instant regret. Last week was a week from hell for most of my family members. Too many things to go into detail about. We had to skip my moms birthday celebration last week. And pushed it to this Monday. We all got together at Hibernian. And celebrated with beer and hearty bar food. It was so dilicious. My body instantly tried to reject this food. My stomach hurt so bad. I was convinced I was going to puke. These burgers were loaded with so much meat. The meat sweats came on so quickly!!! Why?????? I know better, why aren’t I doing better???? It felt good for literally 3 minutes to share the same meal with everyone at the table. Those good feelings faded so fast. It was great seeing my family. I hope our next encounter, I can remember how hard this journey is. And how easy it is to slide down a slippery slope. it is fascinating to watch London eat. Yes, because she is my own, but from what I observe, she could care less about the food . She is more interested in her company. The people around her and its conversation. She eats. She stops. She eats. She has a question. She eats a little more. And she’s done. She barley eats her burger.
She is grossed out by all the cheese on it. And for two seconds my gut reaction is. Eat your dinner!!!!!! Wtf? You…..the food addict, are going to force your daughter to eat something she thinks is gross. Fatty, slimy, no nutritional value, cheeseburger. She dosent want it, and that is ok. This blog is going to be short and sweet. I want to be better for my family. I want to be better for myself. I am still learning how to rewrite my story. Thinking…..Finish everything on your plate, is pounded so deeply into my subconscious. I don’t have to believe that statement. I am free to do whatever I want. And teach London whatever I want!! Lesson of the day…..I am not betraying my family, by not following childhood rules. No one cares if you finish everything on your plate or not!!! And I’m out!!!! Thanks for letting me get that out of my brain, and letting go…for the universe to have!!! See you tomorrow.