saying no

Two Meatballs: Whose That Girl Over-scheduling Herself?! It’s Me, It’s Me!!!

Hellllllooooo!!!!

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It’s Sara!  I found myself at my therapists office this week with a lot to talk about.  I was feeling a little overwhelmed again.  I have a full calendar pretty much at all times, and it’s all things I want to do, but the last two weeks have been crazy!  Last week, I met my yoga heroes in a two hour workshop!

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Then stated Beginners Series again with my mom this time!

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So fun! But I hurt my back!!!  The next morning I really debated on whether or not to go to the fair with my family, but I couldn’t not go!

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I ended up canceling my two yoga classes that afternoon bc I just couldn’t move!

 

Then, the next day was an amazing class with the oh so talented KatieM at Samuel Cole Salon.

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It was an Oribe Texture class and my cousin Kristina was our model and my buddy Carolyn was my partner!  This class was the living funnest and so challenging.  I loved Katie’s teaching style and the way she would do a step and then we would recreate it!!!

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Best day ever.  And just look at my gorgeous cousin!

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Styling used to really intimidate me years ago, but now it is my favorite part of being a hairdresser!

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So much freedom to play and create!!!  I love my job, thank you Kris, Carolyn, Breanna and thank you KatieM!  Then I rushed over to Terri’s, the women who puts my connective tissue back where it is intended bc my back was really scaring me!  She worked her magic and I felt 100 times better, but I accidentally missed a yoga class (part of my 20 day challenge) Eeeek!!!!  The guilt got me good.  Also with a full day of class, I was a little behind with work.  The next four days flew by with hiring, interviewing, clients, meetings, initiatives and scheduling!  Oh and don’t forget yoga…why did I sign up for a challenge???  Sprinkle in grocery shopping, cooking, some family time and time with the guy I’ve been seeing for awhile, the upcoming weigh in and the blogggggggg and all of the sudden, I was feeling very sleep deprived and manic. Plus I found my first 40 gray hairs…aaak!  But, you always end up where you need to be.  So as I sat in Christine’s office and unloaded about my very busy two weeks with no end in sight, she introduced what I consider to be, an earth shattering concept.  She said, what you’re doing is enough.  What you know is enough for right now.  What if you didn’t add anything else right now.  My response was, I don’t know how to do that!  Then we giggled.  I told her that my pendulum swings far.  I schedule myself bc it keeps me on track and it helps me use my down time efficiently.  I also want to do all of the things that I am doing, this just happened to be a really crazy 2 weeks!  Then we got really tickled talking about scheduling restful things…you will relax at 4, meditate at 5, BE CALM DAMMIT! haha I am so intense.   Then she said, Sara, you seem tired.  And you know what I was.  Signing up for challenges is always so exciting to me.  I love the accountability and the competition.  But I am not very good at disengaging when it becomes too much.  I still want to win…which is so ridiculous…winning yoga?!  That seems ironic. And I don’t want to swing to the other side of the pendulum, say fuck it and wipe my calendar clean. #balance #findingcenter She also said, look how far you’ve come.  Now you can recognize when you are spiraling down this rabbit hole before you are completely depleted…that is progress.  And you know what, it is!  So, after I left her office, I went to restorative yoga with my bosses and let go of the overwhelmed feeling, after all the week had ended and I survived.  I went to bed early, canceled Saturday morning yoga, slept in LATE and then went to a lovely wedding.  I went to bed early Saturday night, woke up late Sunday morning and  went to yoga twice…baby steps ok!?  It takes time to change behaviors.  If I say yes to everything, I am saying no to my health.  I really understand that, but I am going to have to stop myself from signing up for anything new for awhile.  I have everything that I need.  And how can I really go deep with something if I can’t really focus on it…adios Pilates November and hello to a little more sleep and a few less gold stars.  I am just learning how to breath again.  My health is important to me. I don’t have to say yes to everything and sometimes I need to say no to myself for myself. With all that said, we are not feeling the weigh in.  Things have changed so much since we started this adventure and we need to make smart decisions for ourselves.  As fun as it used to be, this go round I really was having to talk myself into it.  It felt like a chore and like the opposite of where I am right now, trying to be less obsessive and goal oriented.  Also, Jenny and I haven’t actually hung out this entire month.  I just kept thinking, so the one time we’ve made plans with each other this month, and we are going to work?!  Because that is what a weigh in is…work!  I want to reconnect with my best friend.  This blog used to be so fun, because we were in it together.  We need some time together without any outside pressure.  We want to be able to write things that we feel really passionately about.  So, no weigh in and no scheduled writing.  We are going to write and post when we feel inspired…that could mean 3 times a week or a couple of times a month!  We appreciate all of the support and love you guys have given us.  Thank you for everything and for supporting this passion driven decision! Shew, What a sigh of relief.  Now, off to make my Halloween Costume…Mew Barrymore!  Happy Halloween and we will see you when we see you. Xoxo times a milly.

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#workoutgoals #soulsister #iwantthatoutfit #halloweeninsporation #forevergrateful