Hiiiii youuuuuu guyyyys! It’s Sara!!!! Soooo…I’m closing in on 30!
But it’s not what you think! My dirty thirty hipster party was a year and a half ago thank you for asking! This is a different thirty all together. As I’ve mentioned before…I’ve lost and gained A LOTTTTT of weight over the years. I’ve lost 70 lbs at my most successful but that was 8 years ago. Since then my point of instant return seems to be right at a 30 lb weight loss and right above 300lbs. I find success and when I reach that first big step…I have this overwhelming feeling of Well I’m skinny now…back to burgers and fries! Whyyyyyyyy?! Let’s go on a little journey and peruse some of my weight highs:
And here are my lows:
This last picture was my absolute lowest weight as an adult, 239! And I felt amazing. But something inside of me just totally sabotaged it. I gained back all 70 lbs and then some and I really hated myself for it. All that hard work…for what?! To gain back more than what I started with. This vicious and I do mean viscous cycle has continued since I was in late elementary school which is sad.
So our weigh in is quickly approaching and spoiler alert…I’m creeping towards thirty pounds lost(Wahoo). It’s mildly terrifying. Will I get there and quit…Again?!? Will I drive back from the Grand Canyon??!! Spoiler alert part duh…NOOOOOOOOOO! My commitment is strong and I need to get past this dark cloud that is thirty mother flippin pounds to prove my commitment to myself and my health. This, like my former lifestyle, needs to stay in my past…Forever!!! I’m starting to see results and there isn’t any part of me that wants to give up. My next big goal is to get under 300…and never see it again. #3’sarentmyluckynumber #itcomesinthrees I do feel the need to say that even when I look back over all the pictures of me at my heaviest…I was still happy! That smile on my face is genuine. But I feel like I owe it to her to really get and stay healthy!
If you are feeling this struggle too please know that you are not alone. But also know that there is little to no point in living in a constant state of regret or self loathing of your past failures or missteps. Embrace the goals you have now and make positive steps towards this new life everyday. And by the way…you guys have no idea what it means to us when y’all reach out and tell your stories! Two of my sisters best friends from growing up whom I idolized and thought were the most gorgeous, hilarious people reached out with their struggles and successes and it made my world! So thank you again for the support and love. We love you that much also! #diethirtydie #knockknockwhosetherearentyougladididntsaythirtyagain