Two Meatballs: An Afternoon with Grandma Apple

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I have written about her before, but for those of you who haven’t met Grandma Apple…she really is epic! Tuesday I wrote all about me and Kristina’s adventures in Little Washington with the Apples but did you know that both Kristina and I  lived with our grandparents while we went to hair school…both in one bedroom houses…for a year…and LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT! My grandpa was still alive at this time and we had the living best time! Grandma would help me study for my test with flash cards but the answers were Medulla, Mandible or some other long, complicated nail disease.  I would say the answer and she would say..I have nooooo idea!!! hahahahahha She packed me a lunch everyday and would ironed my scrubs.  She even hemmed my pajama pants while I was sleeping bc she thought they were too long…#wherestheflood! She also insisted on doing my laundry and after three bleach washings I had all crotchless panties! #thanksgrandma
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Last week out of the blue grandma called me which she never does and I happened to be next to my phone and answered it.  She has the cutest, sweetest voice and I got my gift of gab from her.  At first I was worried bc I knew she had had a violent stomach virus the week before and like I said she literally never calls!  I said how ya been and she said you know I’ve been better which was hilarious.  Then she said why don’t you come see me and bring me some tacos!!!  I nearly fell out…you just had the worst stomach virus the world has ever seen and you want MEXICAN FOOD?! Farttttttt….but I would do anything for this woman.  We have such an awesome connection and we always have.

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So I road tripped it to Wilson where she now lives and walked in…two crunchy taco supremes in tow…to see this…

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Janet Apple is COMPLETELY obsessed with The Big Bang Theory and more importantly Sheldon Cooper…banzinga!  But no really she has their tv schedule memorized.  I almost wet myself.  She told me all about how a buddy from church rigged their Secret Santa so he could give her this…she is soooo loved.  So onto lunch…

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Look how happy!!!  She is the most pleasant human ON EARTH!  One thing to know about The Apple residence is that you have to bring your own food if you want to eat healthy! They have literally always had the cupboards , fridge, candy jar and freezer stocked with complete shit…which was super exciting as a kid but a slippery slope for this meatball!  So I came prepared with those spicy ass chicken legs from last week…

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And this to save my life…

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But here is a glimpse into her processed food world…

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There is always a candy jar full of treats!  Grandma lives for peanuts, chocolate covered cherries, a “come” of ice cream, popcorn, saltines and milk, Hershey’s miniatures and peanut butter bread. I gained at least 20 lbs living with her…she used to make a pan of biscuits with every meal and we had a standing beer and pizza night!  She definitely feeds you with love…and high fructose corn syrup!  Anyway, I was not tempted in the least. Grandma Apple has always been concerned with my weight and used to find adorable little ways of putting us in the same boat so that we could “get healthy together” even though she is the tiniest human.  She is sooooo sweet.  So today when I walked in she said…how much have you lost and I said 42!!!  To which she responded…I want it to be 100! Hahahahahaha me too girl. I have always loved going to this woman’s house and not just for the endless buffet of terrible snacks!  She has such an appreciation for history.  She is a great story teller and archiver…there are one million picture scattered around her house of the family that she loves soooo much!

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And on top of that 1000 photo albums!!!  Which is my personal heaven!!! There are crafts from loved ones…mostly my mom all around. The apple memorabilia is abundant.  When I was little I spent a week at my grandparents and when I came home I told my dad…grandma taught me how to spell my last name…I was only 3 or 4 so he said ok lets hear it.  I said A-P-P-L-E.  My grandma thought it was the funniest thing…bc my last name is Beard!!!

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She has all my favorite books and games from childhood and being at her house is the living embodiment of childhood!  She would always let us play with everything and I certainly got my love of chintzy, colorful jewelry from this lovely lady…

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I know that when I see her I will get some Grandma lectures and we will solve all the worlds problems.  I could talk to her for days on her swing and rocking chairs on the back porch.  She cracks me up, she is so bright and positive and fiercely loyal to her family. She had a flaming red puff ball of hair while I was growing up and I longed to be a redhead as well much to my own mothers dismay!  I idolized my grandma and I still do to this day.  We have been roommates at her house and every year at the beach and over the years we’ve become close friends…she trusts my advice and she knows I would do anything to help out. We’ve been through some tough times…Grandpa Apple passing, her sister losing her battle to cancer, Buddy Cat having to be put down and so much more but family heals all and  we’ve  been through so many more good times…so many family vacations, making little cities in the back yard, helping out with chores, graduations, sleeping on the back porch, going to the waterfront, laying out on the dock on the Pamlico Sound, singing MC Hammer with Kris on road trips, dancing to Iggy Azelia on the way to the beach, Unto These Hills and KOA campgrounds, watching PBS while they beg for money, watching family guy and king of the hill together, graduations, weddings, making Christmas candy with Kelly and Kris, 100,00 Heath Bar Blizzards from Dairy Queen, playing in the kitchen at the elementary school where she worked…but I know that the best is still to come!

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We used to watch 60 Minutes together every Sunday and during the intro when they say I’m Leslie Stall, I’m Ed Bradley, I’m Morley Safer…she would always say…annnnnnd I’m Janet Apple and then make the ticking clock noise!!!  This is one of the trillion reasons that I want to spend every waking minute with this sweet baby angel.  How lucky can one girl be!?!?  Grandma…you are the living best and I love you soooooooo much…no you hang up…no you hang up! #bestroomieever  #snnnnnnakes  #mush #oodlesofnoodles #heathblizzards #dominoesthegamenotthepizza #afghans #searscatalogue #rotaryphones #harlequins #paintbynumber #backporch #lifelessons #grandmaplaits #seemmelike #spitjar #badboysbadboyswhatchagonnado #Yankees #wheresmybelt #loveyoutoobob

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Love you GiGi!

 

13 comments

  1. And I’m bawling!!! Damnit Sara! Twice in one week!!! Who would’ve thought hashtags could make you cry!! This is amazing!!!

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