Two Meatballs: To Medicate or Not to Medicate, That is the Question!

Lately, I’ve become totally overwhelmed with my adult ADHD.  When I was little I got in trouble in school most often for never shutting up! #nothinghaschanged

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When I was younger I could remember absolutely everything.  Not only did I remember verbatim our conversation, but I used to remember the date, location and your outfit from the convo in question.  I can recall dates pretty easily.  I have an odd rain man like mind.

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I used to memorize everything…just in case I found myself on a game show (Kristina and I were OBSESSED with games and the Game Show Network when we were kids) and I just didn’t know what I would need to know. 

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When I was in college I dabbled with Adderall and it really just made me the mossst intense, unlikable human on the planet!  I have actually always liked my ADHD bc it allowed to to juggle many things at once.  I felt like doing hair was a great choice for me…I could be super creative, surround myself with people, dabble in chemistry, art, geometry, psychology, business, customer service, cheerleading my coworkers, current events, history, basically anything you can think of and what I’m doing changes every fifteen minutes to an hour.  My dream!!!  

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But, as I started taking on more responsibilities, and splitting my time between being a stylist, mentor, management and educator…my brain started to get overloaded.  I wasn’t remembering the big things much less what you were wearing when you asked me to do it.  My very full plate was now overflowing and there was no more room at the inn.  I have never had to write things down.  I am so ill equipped at organization bc i never had to rely on anything but me!!!  Then add sickness and grief on top and things really started slipping through the cracks. Being unfocused and over loaded leads to being overwhelmed which leads me to a Treat Yo Self lifestyle which is anything but bc it’s a messy room, overeating shit, being lazy and spending too much money!

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This was literally my bedroom a week ago!

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All of these things make me feel like this!

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I pride myself on being fast and efficient.  If you ask me to do something I do it dammit.  So what is happening?!?!  I had my Mega 1 on1 with my mentor, Joelle and she really helped me.  This woman is so understanding. She is so gracious and patient.  I had a total AHA moment in NYC…

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I told Joelle that I thought I needed help and was going to see my doctor about ADHD medication….I mean somebody look at my notebook…baby got distracted!

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I am always leery to do this bc I hate myself on these kinds of stimulants, but what were my other options!? (I’m dramatic and full of extremes).  So during our meeting she let me know that she also thought it was becoming a problem and that she had some non medication ideas…and let me tell you what…these ideas have already saved my life.  She knows me so well, so she named it something intriguing…a Catch and Release Program…I had already stopped listening bc now I was thinking of butterflies or tigers or dragons…who knows!  I’m back…so basically its a system of sticky notes and notebooks.

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 I keep them within arms reach at all times and whatever needs to happen I Capture on a sticky note and then transfer into a notebook…then once I do said thing I Release it by either crossing it off or tossing the sticky note!  My brain no longer needs to be responsible for remembering every mother fucking thing!  Oh Myyyyyy Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you guys…I feel so relieved, so uncluttered, soo free!!!!!!!!!  I wrote earlier this year about thinking that everyone had it together and that I was the village idiot.  This is what I though organization had to look like…

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This is what my taxes looked like this year…

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Do you see the big difference here!?  This seemed an unattainable jump to me!

But to be fair to myself I just didn’t have any kind of system in place to help myself! So with Joelle and Mary’s #hiMarebear help… I feel so in control.

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I have a neat desk, an organizational system and a calendar…that I actually write on!

 Things are not going to slip through the cracks on my watch anymore.  I feel like I am sleeping better now too bc I’m not repeating things over and over to myself and I’m becoming a little less obsessive…thank goodness.  This is what I feel like when I listen to other peoples advice and get more focused!

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Get ready world…I’m armed and organized.  So for now I’m going to try and stay medication free.  Love you guys!!!  Just remember, things don’t work if they are unrealistic for your life!  You have to land on things that you can actually stick to!

12 comments

  1. Joe Kenney had a similar talk with me! He read an article that said if you don’t write stuff down your mind has an way of waking you up at 2am to remind you! But as soon as you write it down your mind lets it go!! Love this! You’re going to be unstoppable! Love you!

  2. I declare…you inspire me. it’s like we are the same people!!! I feel like this every day. I’m totally going to take on some of your tips.

  3. So glad this is working for you!! Me, I need medication. I tried Adderall and hate hate hated it, but Ritalin is a life-changer for me. I feel almost like what I think “normal” must feel like. My anxiety and depression are both on the wane, and I can do things like focus on my work, get the dishes to the kitchen before I need a cart to get them there, and I’m finally starting to clean out the master closet and get rid of some things. So, yay for non-medication strategies that work, and yay for medication for those of us who’ll just channel-surf right through those strategies. 😀

    1. It’s good to know that there is something besides adderall!!!! I think medication is on my future and I would love to know what normal feels like! Haha to carting dishes!!!! I know that feeling!

  4. Girl! We have the same struggle!! (Raging ADD and near-photographic memories) I cannot wait to discuss this with you ad nauseam in May! It’s so weird bc I just had to take my calendar game to the NEXT LEVEL. We can do this!! Thanks for being honest and inspiring. ♡♡♡

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