hey it’s Jenny ! You guys, I had a really down kind of day. I’m not even sure how it started. I’m having a lot of feelings!!!! I have been feeling a little stuck for a while now. With my weight loss, but also in my professional life too. Which if you were to look at a chart, I think you would see my personal and professional life usual mirror eachother. When i am on fire, it is everywhere. When I am struggling to meet goals, i can’t escape anywhere. To put it bluntly, I am feeling so fat!!! I feeli like I am 220 lbs again. Exhausted and completly disgusted with myself. When I get obsessed with my weight I do really weird things!!! Like I stay in the outfit I have on as long as possible. Not because I like dirty clothes, but I hate putting on my clothes when they don’t fit like they should. It is a constant reminder of how bad you are fucking this up. Every time I take clothes. Out of the dryer I pray nothing has shrunk. Even the tiniest bit. That is how on the edge I am living with my food. Not to mention the lack of working out. A shirt feeling tighter then usual is enough to effect my whole day, and make want to cry in that moment. So this shitty mood really started this weekend, when I went shopping for bathing suits.
I really struggled this day to like anything. I was in the fitting room just getting so sweaty, and feeling so soft and squishy.
Just a reminder. I hate posting pics of me in a bathing suit. This is my nightmare . Excpecially now! Staying positive is usually my go to place. When I am down, it is really hard to shake it off. But I think I am ready for my glass to be half full!! You guys can see our every move. That is a lot of pressure. But I was reminded, one meal at a time! So I am a fix it immediately person, and by that I mean…….fix it nooooooowww!!!! And that really is not possible with weight loss. So all I can do right now is work out!!!!
This is was a step in the right direction. I’m going to bounce off these happy, tingly feelings and make this super healthy meal for my family.
It it was delicious!!!! We can do this. I m finding food again. I made zucchini noodles and sauted shrimp!!! I really would love to get to my goal. What I did yesterday does not matter anymore. I can only focus on the change we make today. Brandon has been so amazing and very supportive. So grateful. Sara knew I was struggling and came over too!!! Love her!!!!! She’s an amazing friend . She came baring gifts!!! So grateful! Day one done!! And I already feel more powerful! Let’s see how day two goes. Xoxo