finding what you love

Besides food and men and everything else, exercise is a total roller coaster/glass case of emotion of a relationship for me. Until I saw the light, this is how I felt about people who were itty bitty with no effort!

After years of hoping and wishing and thinking and praying (#didyouseewhatIdidthere?!) that I would also somehow become one of those girls, I finally succumbed to the fact that effortless weight loss wasn’t going to happen for me, however even with this new found acceptance, for years this is how I felt about exercise and people who looooooved it!

This baby looks EXACTLY like my grandpa Apple by the by! I just didn’t understand the appeal. I certainly didn’t trust the people who talked about getting up at 5 every morning to go to bootcamp, or had to miss going out for drinks because they had a Body Pump class after work!? And don’t EVEN get me started about your friends wanting to tell every detail of their killer workout…

I was already sweating from simply existing in my 356 pound 5’4 body…why on earth would I want to do anything more strenuous than just sitting…or partying, isn’t that a workout?!

I mean, that is a squat and a curl as far as I’m concerned!

As social media and Pinterest really started taking off and I saw everyones training schedules and motivational workouts, Couch to 5k challenges and how to workout just using your own body…I felt like this would be a better plan for me.

And for years it was. When I was 24 my bestie Katie and I joined a gym, got a trainer and got serious about getting skinny. We would workout so hard during the week and eat so good, whatever fad diet or calorie restrictor, low fat craze was happening we were all about it and for us it was Smash the Fat and it was really working. Then we would go get hammered every single weekend and eat whatever we wanted. The idea of a lifestyle change wasn’t really in our plan and ultimately, after losing 70 pounds I said later girlllll to the gym….annnnd Smash the Fat. Before that I had dabble with Curves, I even saw another trainer for awhile. I joined my dads gym that was close to his work, but it was crazy inconvenient. Nothing ever really stuck and I would always just get very stuck in a routine that would end up totally boring me. It is fair to say that moving my body was NOT a priority and I gained back all the weight plus so much more. This was my idea of fitness and nutrition after I said fuck it.

But you guyyyyyyyys!!!! (this is Sara btwwwwwww’s) Everything has changed. I really understand that lifestyle change concept now and I wouldn’t say that I love working out, but that’s ok! Like any relationship, there are ups and downs, but me and working out see eye to eye a lot more now. I don’t have to love it every time, simply have to go!!! And honestly, I do really love the way it makes me feel. Even when I struggle with food, working out and moving my body has become the constant, the stable relationship if you. Also, I’ve learned what makes me happy and motivated to workout. 1. I love group fitness, I want the community experience, you know I love a team. 2. I love being told what to do (this is the only time I like being told what to do!!!) I show up, listen, do and it’s over! 3. I love not having to wear shoes…Pure Barre I get wear these adorable socks…

And in yoga I get to free ball!!!

I literally feel so free!!! And between Sandra, Pure Barre and Bliss Body, I’m getting all my happy/healthy needs met #healthyrelationship! With Sandy it’s my one guaranteed workout with my best friend and I get at least one really high intensity workout a week which is always different! This week was nutty! Slam balls planks and rowing! Oh my!!! #sarathatbuttistoohigh

With Pure Barre, I get a lower impact workout that really focuses on core and small, controlled movments, the music is loud and its just so different…plus no shoes and a great community!

And with Yoga, I have found a new level of connectedness with myself and those around me…

And this week I got all three in. Since I don’t drink anymore and I can eat exactly nothing right now, which knocks out going out to eat (although I did make it out to Kristi’s bachelorette party this weekend!!! So fun, congrats Kessie!!!

So great to see everyone outside of work)

…workouts have become my new hang out! I mean somebody look at all the fun we’re having!

Kelly came to yoga with me, I met the whole damn fam at the gym and me and Laur went to PB!!! And you’re not even going to believe what else…I have joined a challenge!!! Who am I!? Pure Barre is challenging everyone to do 10, 20 or 30 classes in September

and as of right now, I have crossed off 4 out of 10 classes…wahoo!!!

I have become the person I used to mistrust. I am blogging about fitness, taking part in physical challenges, getting up at 5am for classes and boring people (my dad) with every gory detail of my workouts. And you know what, it feels famazing and so do I. If you ever question whether you can do something or not, just know that you absolutely can, you just have to get started and find what you love. If this girl whose old motto was this…