laser hair removal

Two Meatballs: My Secret Lady Garden…aka Laser Cats Part 5!!!

Hiiiii you guyyyyyssss!!!  Today marked a couple of big milestones!!!  First…I wore a skirt without tights or leggings!!!


This may not seem like a big deal but as someone who has LIVED in leggings or maxi dresses for the past three or so years this is a bigggg thing…even though less than four inches of skin is showing!  It also may seem like a crazy thing considering that even at our heaviest we have been baring alllll once a month and putting it on the interwebs but that is in the comfort of our homes and today these bare legs left the house!!!  These stems haven’t seen the light of day outside of the beach in ages!  I have always been confident but I did not like my legs and felt too exposed without having them completely covered. This feels soooo amazing and honestly slightly scary…i was convinced everyone could see my butt all day HA!!! #exposed  So many fashion opportunities have opened up for both Jenny and I.  We both love clothes but now the options seem endless.


This leads me to my next milestone!!!  Today marked the last laser hair removal treatment on my downstairs neighbor…I call her Tina or My Lady!!!  I was chatting with my sister while driving to the appointment and that sweet angel said, do you think it will hurt this time!?  Bahahahahahahahahahah…yes girl I do!!!  This marks the 5th time I have waited nervously in the waiting room for Jennifer to lead me to my doom…uh hum I mean my future uprooted lady garden. #stopclenching #deforestation



Time to enter the torture chamber…I’m already tensing and sweating from the anticipation.  #swampass #notenoughdeoderantintheworld


I don’t know if you remember how this rolls from Laser Cats but I’ll give a quick refresher…first you Porky Pig it.  That means your most unflattering version of yourself…just that pants off!!!  Woof!  Then you hop onto the bed da da da dahhhh…


Thennnnnn…you frog your legs and pack that crotch to the brim with ice packs.  #babycold #shivermevagina


Every girls dream…am I right ladies!?! Obvi there is no pic of this…but I thought about it!  Then you wait…so that your Teeny Tina can get good and numb…because it is about to be set on fire literally…with lasers.  Oh gahhhhh what am I doing!?



The anticipation is the worst…not to mention that you are solo in a room with your attacker…


Just seems like your run of the mill medical apparatus right…not the thing that will shoot lasers into the hair folicles of your Who Ha (said like Pachino) buuuuuut that is exactly what it is! Can you say Pre Traumatic Stress!?  Is that a thing, did I just make up a new thing!?!? Maybe if I just spend some time with the laser before hand it will bond us? #immersiontherapy


Ok so then enters my hair removal therapist/facialist/I think soulmate is too strong but maybe esthetician love of my life?!/the most hilarious person/part time therapist/makes you feel amazing about yourself, Jennifer!  Love this lady…hate this laser!  Here we go..


Isn’t she the cutest!?  She bumps Beyonce, Rihanna and Nicki #lookatherbutt in the background while she assaults my va-jay.  We talk about relationships and sun signs (She’s a Taurus, I’m a Scorpio), being  formerly emotionally unavailable, what plastic surgery I’m going to need once I hit my goal (hopefully just a tummy tuck).  So fun, and exactly the distraction I need from my firey Netherlands!!!  There is no amount of ice that could make this not hurt!!! #sorryTinabutyou’llbetheprettiestgirlontheblocktommorow

That all sounds sweet right!?  But there is a certain area…in the depths of your own private Idaho where no amount of distraction keeps you from the pain…this is when I start chanting fuck fuck fuck over and over again.



She realllllllly gets in there…



This picture is so funny…I look like I’m giving birth…to a brand new vagina HEY-OHHHHH!!!

I want to run….that laser just keeps getting hotter…I told her at this point that I was prettttttt-y sure that there was a new hole in my leg!!!  I say dumb things like that to her all the time…like I wish this was over…or I think I’m done with that spot…or I think I’m going to run like seriously!  But she doesn’t falter from her purpose and mission….of reverting me to a pre pubescent hairless wonder!!! #dreamsdocometrue



I think it goes without saying that I am not a shy person.  Nothing about this situation bothers me minus the pain.  But I know that that is not how most people feel.  So I have to say, you would love Jennifer!!!  She puts you at ease and actually she can have the credit for me wearing a bare legged skirt today.  My legs are an issue for me.  My mom, dad and sister have the most beautiful legs that I have ever seen in all of my days.  I’m talking birth rite gifts here, and mine always seemed very ummmm one note…tree trunky if you will, total lack of definition and I don’t want to say deformed but odly put together maybe is the right way to say it. If I had an insecurity these gams would be it!  But three sessions ago as I Donald Ducked it on the table, Jennifer said Sara you have amazing legs.  You know when a record skips…I swear that is what I heard at that moment.  Excuse me!?!  She said, there are no saddle bags, they are long and muscular…there is nothing hanging.  Ummmm…exsqueeze me!?  Are you addressing I?!  And you know what…I hadn’t really taken stock in awhile.  Or I had always been comparing myself to my family.  I won’t have their legs, but there is nothing wrong with mine!  Oh Jennifer you wonderful human!!!  That perspective shift was exactly what I needed! What can’t this woman do?!?! What a kind gift to give to someone else…she helped me embrace the thing I hated the most.  Now we are down to the last 50 pulses with this gall blasted laser and my kitty is sizzling…



#meeee-OWWWWWWW (get it!?)

Yep, I’m pretty sure I’m dead.  Nice knowin ya world.  Oh wait, it’s over!!!  No I’m fine!  Oh thank gah!  Time to warm towel this little lady and slather her in aloe!!!  I couldn’t be happier that this was the last time and I’m so exited about the results!!!!  I can’t post a before and after of this but if I could you know I would!!! But here is a good one!  This is from the last laser post to today!


Call Jennifer today at The MedSpa @RPSC…you will fall in love. #stockholmsyndrome #jk  She is so talented and if you can find someone that can make you laugh while you are pantless on a table while they shoot fire into your business…you know they are the best at what they do!!!  She offers so many amazing service.  I booked my next facial before I left and I literally cannot wait to see her again!  Thanks Jennifer!!!  Love you so much!


Now it’s time for my post treatment treat…a naughty little non paleo soy latte to help with the post trauma of being shot in the baby maker.


I mean look at those legs!!!  Thanks for making me look and feel fabulous with everything that you do Jen! Xoxo times a mill!

Now time to sit on ice and snuggle with this coffee until my 5o shades of ouchie crocth heals!  Love y’all…hope your weekend was less painful!



Two Meatballs: Adventures in Laser Hair Removal, Cannibalism annnnd Dates Galore!!

Hiiiiiiiiiii you guyyyyyyyys!!!!!  So our format has been a little different lately!  We haven’t been cooking as much.  That segment will return I promise!  But lately Jenny and I have actually been going out when we see each other which has been great and a nice departure!


Orrrrr…when we do hang out its been a LOT of jackassing around lately with Brandon or on breaks at work!



So next week…watch out…we are going to cook our faces off.  But this weekend started off with my 4th session of laser hair removal south of the border…..eeeeek it was the living worst!!!  The laser just keeeeeeps getting hotter! #howisthatpossible  I can’t really take pictures when I’m in there…one  bc I’m super naked not just weigh in naked annnd two bc I’m too busy squeezing a stress ball and yelling terrible things and dying laughing.  SO here is a pic from the waiting room! #trauma


But I survived another round #firecrotch #onlytwomoretogo #itcantgetworsethanthislastone #masochist

You guys know I live for a date! I love spending time with my family and super best buddies and the guy I’m dating #swoon.  So this weekend my sister joined me downtown to meet him and I got to meet some of his friends! This was all facilitated by my call for help Saturday night when my bra got epically stuck in my dryer!!!  My sisters advice was to unhook it #thanksihadnttriedthatyoua-hole but after turning it back on it finally flew out!  I’m in between sizes so this is my only bra #traj That is it hanging down forlornly!


Anywhoozle …I love love love my sister and we nevvvvver get to go out together.  Plus I haven’t been downtown on a Saturday night in 1000 years.  We started out at Poole’s.  They had the yummiest looking cocktails but I got a Diet Coke…in a glass bottle #preshtodeath #vintage


We ended up at Fox Liquor Bar where they proceeded to play Bone Thugs N’ Harmony….like the entire album on repeat at the loudest volume one could imagine. #imtoofuckingold #whendidthathappen But it was suuuupppper fun and again its so nice to be able to play DD!!!  Even though I am admittedly the worst driver of life.  Sunday Jenny and I had a lunch date but we were both so haggard looking no picture of this exists!  Then Monday night the guy and I went to get a new phone as his met an untimely death. #howdoyoulivewithoutaphonethesedays This ended up being a 2 hour ordeal at Verizon…the guy helping us was hilarious! Then we both shopped around for new clothes…look a this adorable tank from Forever 21 #80’smadonna!?


Then we went to dinner at Tazza Kitchen in Cameron Village.  IT WAS SOOOOO GOOOD!


This is his new phone…look how adorable!  He got a drink called the Southern Belle #iveneverlaughedsohard


It ended up looking much more manly than I had thought…And shocker…I had water!

Then we dabbled in cannibalism…this meatball went to town on some delish meatballs!


He knows everyone everywhere we go so the bartender sent over some of the besssst cauliflower known to man…and strawberry chello I don’t know if that is how you spell it but you know what I’m talking about right ladies!?


Then we split crab cakes and the living best broccoli…I don’t know why it was soooo good  but y’alllllll it was sooooooo good!


This place had so many paleo friendly options!!!  I feel like instead of cooking we are giving you guys a tour of where to eat healthy in Raleigh…is that a thing!?


Then it was such a nice night we went to Hibernian downtown and sat on the roof!!!  You gotta love a place that has burnt down twice and just wont die.  The breeze was heaven and the view was even better #winkwink #jk #notreally  Then we watched the living worst movie…Anchorman 2!  Holy shit it was total garbage after the first 30 minutes!!! #chickenofthecaves  Haha…but what a nice way to start a week!



Thennnnnnn last night I went to dinner with my sweet friend Nanner at Coquette and you’re never gonna guess what…i ate steak frites!!!  Anna had the duck…everything was amaze!


After dinner I went to visit my sweet cousin Kristina bc I am having major withdrawals from her not being at work anymore.  In our almost 32 years of friendship I dont think we have ever gone more than 2 weeks without seeing one another so this has been the worst!!!!  But look at how happy this little family is! I also have to say Tim and Kristina have been sooo incredibly supportive  of the Meatballs and are just two of my very favorite people to giggle with on earth!


We had the best time and died laughing at the most inappropriate conversations….gahhhhh I miss them!!!!  #cornchips #eboli #femaleprostate #misterpicklesfarts Oh how I looooove them!  And what an amazing week already!!!!

This coming weekend is my annual hotel sleepover with Wyatt…literally a thousand pictures to follow…another super fun date!!!  I literally cannot wait.  Hope you guys are great and we love you so much!!! #ilovedates