You guyyyys….ummmmm have you tried yoga cause it’s amazing!!!!  One of my lovely, long time clients, Lila, is training to be a yogi so we were lucky enough to be her guinea pigs!  Jenny and I got our zen on, grabbed our yoga mats and headed over to the most gorgeous home of sweet Lila.

All of my weight has settled right into my back fat y’all!!!  And as Jenny and I always do, we had an awesome, deep convo in the car on the ride over.  She said something that really resinated with me.  We were talking about why it’s so hard to be good over the holidays and why its so tempting to do what you are not supposed to do…she said, we’ve relapsed!  I know she shared with you on Tuesday her addiction to sugar.  We both lived a really unhealthy lifestyle for so long….for me nearly 30 years.  We have completely changed our lives over the past year BUT we have experienced a relapse lately.  Mine has been on and off for three months.  Naming it with “relapse” gave me so much insight, so much acceptance and the power to simply move on.  I am an addict…in ohhhh  so many ways.  Changing your life and giving up your unhealthy vices doesn’t happen over night.  And sometimes you slip back into old patterns.  But what has changed is that it doesn’t feel as good anymore.  Now when I eat pad thai, I feel like a junkie shooting up heroine in a gas station bathroom…and it really doesn’t feel that different.  The guilt is overwhelming because I want to get this right this time.  I don’t want to waste any more time. The thought of gaining this weight back instantly reduces me to tears and the disappointment is too much to bare.  What if I gained all of the weight back?!  It just isn’t going to happen.  I know better and that is why I don’t feel as fulfilled as I used to when I gave in to my momentary cravings.  Sure the Robin’s Eggs on Easter were good, but the guilt wasn’t and to be honest…they just aren’t worth it.  I feel my best when I embrace this new life that I’ve signed up for. I want to stop rebelling against it.  I feel my worst when I try and shove myself back into my old life bc it just doesn’t work for me anymore.  This may not be my last relapse and I am positive that I will always be a recovering addict and that I can’t strive for perfection, only for progress.  This is going to be a day by day thing and it’s hard dammit.  I want to think that I am stronger that this and I believe that I am.  A relapse is not the end of the world, it is an opportunity to reevaluate and become even more committed to a future that I know I want.  Thank you Jenny for saying exactly what I needed to hear, at the perfect moment. I was stuck in a disappointment cycle and I couldn’t seem to find my way to the surface, but your words gave me perspective and so much clarity.  I am so thankful every single day to have met you and to embrace this new challenge side by side.  Side by Sidebar complete…back to Lila’s…

This is Lila!  She is fantastic…and so is her home.  We took every opportunity to explore…I can’t focus until I have tour!

Love this house!!!  Ok…time to get spiritual!

Let me just say, Lila is the living best teacher, she has the perfect yoga voice and I was instantly relaxed.  She had us sit like her and close our eyes and she just said a lot of really powerful things.  we had to identify where our balance point was.  I chose my heart.  I love a visual.  Then she started talking about being rooted to the ground, breathing in, lengthening our bodies, letting go, being in the moment, forgiving ourselves, breathing through the tough poses and how we can use all of these things in real life to cope.  Ummmmmm, talk about relevant to the situation.  As I sat there and as we moved into the poses…ps yoga is serious y’all, I was sweating up a storm…I let got of the weight gain and disappointment.  I decided to live in the moment and start fresh.  You can always clean slate it.  My heart is my balance point.  We kept moving through the poses and she gave us so much inspiration and the visualization was so empowering.

She really let us be ourselves and laugh when we needed to be silly, but both of us really needed this reconnection to ourselves and time to be quiet and with ourselves.  Learning how to breath and stretch and ask more of your body while being kind to it felt so good.  She really catered it to us and played music and taught us modifications but also asked us to push ourselves.  She carefully explained each pose and when to breath.  Then we ended on the floor quietly connecting with ourselves (and each other haha) and experienced some quiet time to reflect as she helped us to stretch and relax more.   She read us a story from Eat, Love, Pray and I think both of us almost cried.

 

She gave us a little parting gift of rosemary, incense and the story that she read us.

Soooooo thoughtful!!!! But Lila, you gave us a much bigger gift.  We so appreciate your time, the time you put into preparing something for us and the gift of experiencing yoga.  I feel a deeper connection with myself, Jenny and you Lila!  You have found your calling.  This was such an incredible hour of enlightenment and exploration.  I am always capable of more than I think.  I need to spend more time connecting to myself and taking care of myself.  You are such an amazing person with a kind and giving spirit.  You made this so fun and easy to understand.  I never felt intimidated and I felt incredibly well cared for.  Thank you thank you thank you.  You have made us Yoga Believers and we literally cannot wait to do it again!  Big shout out to Lila’s husband A for taking these pics!!!

Everything happens the way its supposed to and if life were easy it wouldn’t be worth it.  Change is hard work and you have to put in the effort every single day.  I feel so much more connected, grounded and balanced.  What a gift!  Until next time! We most definitely felt the love and we love you that much also Lila!