struggles

Two Meatballs: Yoga-taaaa Be Kiddin’ Me!!!

You guyyyys….ummmmm have you tried yoga cause it’s amazing!!!!  One of my lovely, long time clients, Lila, is training to be a yogi so we were lucky enough to be her guinea pigs!  Jenny and I got our zen on, grabbed our yoga mats and headed over to the most gorgeous home of sweet Lila.

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All of my weight has settled right into my back fat y’all!!!  And as Jenny and I always do, we had an awesome, deep convo in the car on the ride over.  She said something that really resinated with me.  We were talking about why it’s so hard to be good over the holidays and why its so tempting to do what you are not supposed to do…she said, we’ve relapsed!  I know she shared with you on Tuesday her addiction to sugar.  We both lived a really unhealthy lifestyle for so long….for me nearly 30 years.  We have completely changed our lives over the past year BUT we have experienced a relapse lately.  Mine has been on and off for three months.  Naming it with “relapse” gave me so much insight, so much acceptance and the power to simply move on.  I am an addict…in ohhhh  so many ways.  Changing your life and giving up your unhealthy vices doesn’t happen over night.  And sometimes you slip back into old patterns.  But what has changed is that it doesn’t feel as good anymore.  Now when I eat pad thai, I feel like a junkie shooting up heroine in a gas station bathroom…and it really doesn’t feel that different.  The guilt is overwhelming because I want to get this right this time.  I don’t want to waste any more time. The thought of gaining this weight back instantly reduces me to tears and the disappointment is too much to bare.  What if I gained all of the weight back?!  It just isn’t going to happen.  I know better and that is why I don’t feel as fulfilled as I used to when I gave in to my momentary cravings.  Sure the Robin’s Eggs on Easter were good, but the guilt wasn’t and to be honest…they just aren’t worth it.  I feel my best when I embrace this new life that I’ve signed up for. I want to stop rebelling against it.  I feel my worst when I try and shove myself back into my old life bc it just doesn’t work for me anymore.  This may not be my last relapse and I am positive that I will always be a recovering addict and that I can’t strive for perfection, only for progress.  This is going to be a day by day thing and it’s hard dammit.  I want to think that I am stronger that this and I believe that I am.  A relapse is not the end of the world, it is an opportunity to reevaluate and become even more committed to a future that I know I want.  Thank you Jenny for saying exactly what I needed to hear, at the perfect moment. I was stuck in a disappointment cycle and I couldn’t seem to find my way to the surface, but your words gave me perspective and so much clarity.  I am so thankful every single day to have met you and to embrace this new challenge side by side.  Side by Sidebar complete…back to Lila’s…

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This is Lila!  She is fantastic…and so is her home.  We took every opportunity to explore…I can’t focus until I have tour!

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Love this house!!!  Ok…time to get spiritual!

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Let me just say, Lila is the living best teacher, she has the perfect yoga voice and I was instantly relaxed.  She had us sit like her and close our eyes and she just said a lot of really powerful things.  we had to identify where our balance point was.  I chose my heart.  I love a visual.  Then she started talking about being rooted to the ground, breathing in, lengthening our bodies, letting go, being in the moment, forgiving ourselves, breathing through the tough poses and how we can use all of these things in real life to cope.  Ummmmmm, talk about relevant to the situation.  As I sat there and as we moved into the poses…ps yoga is serious y’all, I was sweating up a storm…I let got of the weight gain and disappointment.  I decided to live in the moment and start fresh.  You can always clean slate it.  My heart is my balance point.  We kept moving through the poses and she gave us so much inspiration and the visualization was so empowering.

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She really let us be ourselves and laugh when we needed to be silly, but both of us really needed this reconnection to ourselves and time to be quiet and with ourselves.  Learning how to breath and stretch and ask more of your body while being kind to it felt so good.  She really catered it to us and played music and taught us modifications but also asked us to push ourselves.  She carefully explained each pose and when to breath.  Then we ended on the floor quietly connecting with ourselves (and each other haha) and experienced some quiet time to reflect as she helped us to stretch and relax more.   She read us a story from Eat, Love, Pray and I think both of us almost cried.

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She gave us a little parting gift of rosemary, incense and the story that she read us.

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Soooooo thoughtful!!!! But Lila, you gave us a much bigger gift.  We so appreciate your time, the time you put into preparing something for us and the gift of experiencing yoga.  I feel a deeper connection with myself, Jenny and you Lila!  You have found your calling.  This was such an incredible hour of enlightenment and exploration.  I am always capable of more than I think.  I need to spend more time connecting to myself and taking care of myself.  You are such an amazing person with a kind and giving spirit.  You made this so fun and easy to understand.  I never felt intimidated and I felt incredibly well cared for.  Thank you thank you thank you.  You have made us Yoga Believers and we literally cannot wait to do it again!  Big shout out to Lila’s husband A for taking these pics!!!

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Everything happens the way its supposed to and if life were easy it wouldn’t be worth it.  Change is hard work and you have to put in the effort every single day.  I feel so much more connected, grounded and balanced.  What a gift!  Until next time! We most definitely felt the love and we love you that much also Lila!

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Two Meatballs: Resolutions Check In!

I love a new year and more than anything this year I love Spring! As long as we can avoid the Easter candy!!!

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Spring always feels like a rebirth or an awakening!

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It’s time for shorts!!!!

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I chopped my hair off for the occasion!

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I spent this winter pretending to be a bear who desperately needed to get fat to survive the cold! #check

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So now that it is warm outside I thought it would be a good idea to check and see how these bold New Years Resolutions were going!  Here is what I chose to do this year:

 

Sara…

1. Be kind and grateful every single day

2. Fight less

3. Use your smarts for good not evil

4. Stay strong and focused

5. Reach my weight goal of 160

6. Keep cooking and stay active

7. Be open to sharing my life with someone

8. Find better coping mechanisms for when I’m overwhelmed

9. Throw yourself into juicing

10. Read at least one book a month…this is my first book recommended by my fab sis Kelly from a fellow blogger…Momastery’s Glennon Melton! #pumped #inspirationfordays

 

Check in:

1. Ok so I think I am killing it on the kindness front.  I didn’t like the way I was being perceived and as we all know perception is reality so being kind and loving feels a million percent better.  My misplaced passion comes across as aggressive anger and that is not my intention! Yay…starting off on a good foot! All of this makes me feel super grateful! Check #2!

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2.  I am def fighting less!  I am really trying not to bicker or engage in fights for fun!  #2 check!

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3.  This one cracks me up!!!  When I reread it I thought good lord…what were you doing up until now?!  But I think I’ve succeeded on that front as well.  Changing my perspective to wanting to help and being open, loving and empathetic makes it almost impossible to tap into my middle school mean girl! Well, this feels great!

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4. Ooooph, well I have been working very diligently on focusing and organizing!  That is a plus!

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5.  Ugh!  I have officially gained 20 pounds.  I need to get my mind back in the game…not driving back from the Grand Canyon!

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6.  Jenny and I have started cooking again and the gym is no longer a dusty stranger in my life!  Thank God!

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7. I’m exploring possibilities 😉

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8. Well, this one has been a struggle.  Food has been my coping mechanism and most recently Edible Art strawberry lemonade cupcakes, so this one still needs some major work! #evenbeyahasbaddays

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9.  I officially own a real juicer thanks to my client Ruth!!!  It’s go time with this one!  Also, I just ordered a juice cleanse to get myself started from Humdinger!!!  #excited

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10. I finished reading Carry On, Warrior and it was so inspirational and amazing.  Now I’m reading a gift from my bestie…Amy Poehler’s Yes Please and it is wonderful, funny and empowering.  Next in line is Lena Dunham’s book!  Can’t wait!!!

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Ok so the check in was about 70/100.  I love a grade, I love to know where I stand but honestly folks  its a big fat D and not the kind I like #ayohhhhh. There are some things that def need to change.  I don’t commit to anything unless my mind is right.  As Joelle coined it, it’s the Kinda Sorta mentality.  When I check back in I’m in until I’m not and unfortunately there have been more off days than on days this month.  Whenever I talk about this in real life everyone always tells me to give myself a break. But I think I might be better off clocking back in from break and getting back into the swing of life.  See that’s the thing with a lifestyle change.  You aren’t getting back on your diet, you are actually getting back to your life….which seems way less overwhelming and more motivating.  And right now normal sounds delightful. Jenny and I had a great pow wow yesterday.  We were headed to Edible Art to eat cupcakes and talking about why we were so fat and unmotivated…do you see the irony here!?  Well we got so pumped up to move on that we turned around, she went to the gym and I went to the grocery store!!!  We said no to ourselves.  We are tired of being fat…

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We’re tired of being sad about it!

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We are happy girls and we know how to do this!

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No more bullshit start stops!

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Our great pal and fitness guru gave us a hell of a pep talk yesterday! He said just remember how good it felt to be committed! Get yourself back there! Thanks Michael!

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So in closing, I thought I would pour on the inspiration…I know I need it and hopefully you will find something in it as well.

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Love y’all!  Can’t wait to feel this good again!

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Two Meatballs: Cabbage Farts for Days!!!

The cooking segment is back!  #yourewelcomekelly As you have seen from both Jenny and I this month has been a total food fest!!!  So forcing ourselves to cook was a must and a struggle this week! Last week when we were supposed to cook we went out for a sushi date instead, so this week needed to happen!  But we were smart…we cooked the comfiest food of alllll time…crock pot pork tenderloin with cabbage, carrots and onions!!!  First off…nothing is easier than a crock pot meal and second of allllll……yummmmmmmmmm!!! Let me paint a picture of what my cooking fantasy is…Jenny and I jackass around, have so much fun, learn a new recipe  and then we sit down with Brandon and enjoy an amazing little meal that we just prepared with love and healthy vibes. Now,  let me just pop that bubble and tell you that that has literally NEVER happened and tonight was no exception.  Let me paint the reality of cooking night.  I had to work until 8, so Jenny had actually started hours before I got there.  This is the scene I walked into at the Smith home.

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Jenny was writing the blog you read yesterday.  I was starving when I got off work so I stopped by Chickfila and got a salad and devoured it at their dining room table solo as soon as I walked though the door!

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Brandon was glued to the Hurricanes game which he explained thoroughly how the points system works! #iunderstandhockey now #thanksbrandon

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The house smelled farty  but somehow yummy for sure…you know what I’m talking about right ladies…house full of stewing cabbage!!!! So how do you make this fall comfort food!?  Here is your ingredient list:

1 cup Apple Cider Vinegar

1 cup water

1 tbsp. salt

1 tsp pepper

2 tsp paprika

2 lbs. pork tenderloin

1 onion chopped

4 carrots chopped

1 head of green cabbage

Put slow cooker on low, dump all veggies on the bottom, then lay the pork on top of that,  then sprinkle all the seasonings and then add your wet ingredients and cook for 6-8 hours!!! Jenny literally did all the work here!

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So what are the three best friends who anyone could ever have (did you see what I did there!?) to do while waiting for the pork to cook!? Well snuggle on the couch and act a fool of course.  I used to spend endless hours with these two!!!  This felt great and super duper comfy…the theme of the night!

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Sooooo fun!!!!  The three of us haven’t been in a room together for more than five minutes in ages and it was soooo great!  We talked a lot about how hard it is to stay focused while losing weight…our major fall cravings, how mean your brain is at sabotaging a good food day and just struggles in general!  Then we watched youtube videos and reenacted terrible commercials! We discussed if you could lose a pound every time you farted that all we would eat is beans for life!!!  #meatballssssss And there was def a moment where we all broke out into “These Boots Were Made For Walking” which turned into a conversation about cassette tapes and Michael Bolton.  Welcome to the land of ADD and 4 city!

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#thesewerethebootsthatweremadeforwalking

Then the timer went off and it was time to sample! #ourfavoritepart #fattypatty’s

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It looked amazeballs.

It was verrrry vinegar-ey so we added a cup of water to the recipe above.  But it really grew on us and was so comfy and warm!

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Is there anything better than cooking with friends!?  I think not!!!!  We hope you have a great day and if you are struggling to get back on track just know that we are too… but it is possible and it’s happening as we speak! #allthreemeatballsgetyourheadsinthegame

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My dream came true the next day…what a lovely little meatball power lunch we had…we are both back and in the mother fuzzing game!!!

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Love y’all!!! PS…Jenny and I both got new hair today!   Thanks Natalie!!!!

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Two Meatballs: #strugglebus

Hiiiiii! It’s Sara! Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend! I know we did!!!!! Today is Jenny’s husband’s birthday. Happy 30th Brandon. So we celebrated last night. I mentioned before that I’m not drinking and neither is Jenny. So last night was so fun even though we were being good. I did however stay up way later than I have been lately. This on top of traveling this week has got me in the front seat of the struggle bus! My house is a mess, my suitcase is still taking up major real estate in my room, I’m up to my eyeballs in dirty laundry (this will be the title of my memoir one day), my box of receipts for the month of March is piling up and my elliptical machine is eyeing me with total judgement as I sit on my couch writing this!

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I know you can see the judgement in her eyes right?! So with all these projects to tackle I chose to work on our Pinterest account (meatballsgetfit) bc that was the logical choice right?! WRONG! Avoidance is a huge issue of mine. Jenny described it perfectly for herself and I totally relate. “I go from so stable to soooooo unstable!” What do all these little things add up to…my mind becomes consumed with bad food choices! Jenny and I were texting this morning with thoughts of cake, pizza and pad thai running through our heads. Now what?! The only way to change is to change. Sooooo, in that spirit we’re decided to be strong for one another and talk ourselves off of this irrational ledge. I got dressed in my workout gear (do I look like ke$ha yet?!), started my laundry, made a healthy lunch of bacon, eggs and
roasted brussel sprouts, drank two glasses of water, started the dishwasher and guess what happened?! I’m full so I’m not thinking of food that is bad for me, I’m crossing things off my list so I’m feeling instantly better and less overwhelmed and I’m about to make this elliptical my bitch and try from Couch to 5k! Lesson for the day…stop avoiding your life Sara…it’s not going anywhere!
P.S. Don’t forget to check in on April Fools Day! Jenny and I will be revealing our weight, what we’ve lost and a whole lot more! Again, thanks so much for the support. If you find yourself on that struggle bus called life…reach out to the ones you love and be honest. Or we’re always here for you! Xoxo

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