paleo recipes

Two Meatballs: Bang Bang Into The Kitchennnnn!!!

Get it?! Hahahahahaha

You guys……We are back in the kitchen.  It has been so long.  We definitely need this to reconnect to our journey!!!!  And obvi……we don’t do well when we aren’t planning our meals.  So what’s on the paleo menu you ask……..a few things.   The more good foods that are around us, the less likely we are to fuck up.

Kicking old school with some Spagetti squash….Which i (jenny) usually hate!!!  I guess Im kind of  a noodle snob.   Well I have decided I rather be healthy, then a snob (my favorite MAC Lip) .  So yeah we are making spaghetti squash and MEATBALLS!   Best part, we did all of it in the crock pot!!


1 spaghetti squash cut in 1/2

Turkey Meatballs

1 jar of your favorite pasta sauce


Cut the squash in half, and face down in the crock pot,   put the meatballs and sauce around the squash and cook on high for 3 hours.  so easy!!!!!  Great,  when it is done, take the squash halves out and let them cool. Then take the noodles out with a fork.


Time for Bang Bang cauliflower!!!!!


And here we are making it happen!!

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let me just say this is so delicious!!

Break time!!!!!  Lets have an evening coffee.

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lets get back to cooking!!  Egg salad…Egg salad….EGG SALAD!!!!!

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Amazing!!!!!    How did we forget how much fun this way!!!!   Love you Sara… Glad we did this.  Try these recipes… so good!!!

Two Meatballs: I Decked My Halllllls…And Team Apple Candy Makin’!!!

You guyyyyysssssss!!! Christmas barfed allllll over my house this weekend!!!  This is how I feel about the holidays!!!


If you ask me at any given time what song I’m singing in my head…no matter the time of year it is…”It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas”. I love everything about this time of year…the decorations…the smell of the tree…picking out the tree…looking at all my ornaments…shopping…wrapping…the surprises…making candy with family…Christmas parties…ugly sweaters…sleepovers…Santa…Elf the movie…the music…Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas is You” (but only the first three times)…LITERALLY EVERYTHING.


You will find no happier girl in this world than me in a tree lot…


My partner in crime for the important selection (and help getting it home and up)…JB from DC.


The intoxicating scent took over! #smellismyfavoritesense


We found a winner right off the bat…my tree requirements are tall and fat!!!



Time to get busy!


And then Santa Anna (my adorable mom) met us a the house.  She is the ultimate light stringer and  Christmases number 1 fan!!!


I love this treeeeeee!!!


Time to get her lit!


And get this house in the spirit!!!


The world makes sense again…my house was MADE for Christmas as evidenced by this photo taken BEFORE I decorated!!!


Thanks mom and dad!!!  #lifesavers #everythingismorefuntogether #codependant

Now that the house is ready…what’s a girl to do!?  Ohhhh I know, a time honored Apple family tradition…making Christmas Candy!!!!!!! Grandma Apple has been making a combination of Hay Stacks, Ritz Delights, Bullseyes, Chocolate Covered Peanuts and Brickle Bits since me, Kristina and Kelly were little girls…even then I didn’t know when to say no! Bahahaha…


#imliterallygoingtobarf Haystacks are my skittle farting favorites!!!  When we got older, the three of us would go to Grandma’s house and help!  What a cute team…


Grandma has since retired from the arduous candy makin biz…


but Team Apple as Kelly, Kristina and myself call ourselves (Thanks Nichole LuMaye) decided to revive the tradition and teach a new generation the joy that is…a  family cooking segment! Before we get started lets stroll down memory lame…If you are new to the blog or living under a rock, my family is soooo important to me and Kelly and Kristina are 2 of three of the K’s!wpid-img_20141207_193826.jpg



And the best for last…


On to the candy making…chanting Team Apple…Team Apple…Team Apple…

I offered to host the cooking segment… one bc I just got all new appliances and two…since we are making the most unpaleo candy, I can make a super healthy and filling paleo lunch for everyone! Before Kristina, Harper and Trace arrived this is how Kelly was sitting and talking to me #whataweirdo #hellofacore


And this was my reaction…


And this is how I feel when I write the blog…


#focussssssss #adultadddddddddddddd But here they are…



And the next generation shows up to learn the tricks of the trade…but first the hellos!

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Time to get serious…we decided to keep it simple and make haystacks and ritz delights!!!  Since they are the least paleo thing on earth I’m going to skip the recipe, but if you’re interested just message me! Time to get cookin good lookin…




First up…Haystacks!!!!



Let the fun begin!!!


So many distractions!!!


Back to biz…


Onto the Ritz Delights…





Now it’s time to cool down…


Time to package our little gifts for the Apple Family Christmas Party!



I survived candy making without even one little taste!  Time for lunch!!!  What’s on the menu?!  Roast Pork Tenderloin, Potatoes, Lime Siricha Cabbage…yum!!!  My house could not smell better.  I got up at 6am to start the slow cooker pork…


Lay a1 1/2lb pork tenderloin on the bottom of the crock pot, add 1 1/2 cups red wine vinegar, 2/3 cup coconut aminos, 1 TBSP each of  garlic powder, dry mustard, and rosemary on top of the pork!  Cook on low for 6 hours!!! Next Roasted Potatoes…




2Lbs New Potatoes…I used fingerling

3 Tbsp chopped fresh rosemary

4 cloves garlic minced

3 Tbsp butter (you can use ghee)

1 Tbsp Olive Oil

Sea Salt and Pepper to taste


Ok so take the potatoes, cut them in half lengthwise and put them in a microwave safe container, take a paper towel and wet and wring it out, place on top of potatoes in bowl, put in microwave with a mug of water inside and cook for 2 minutes to “steam” them!  Then lay potatoes out on a  foil, rimmed baking sheet and put the oven on  400. Mix all the wet and herby ingredients together and coat the potatoes…cook for 2o minutes. I simultaneously roasted this delish cabbage…




1 firm head of cabbage

2 tbsp of olive oil

2 tbsp fresh squeezed lime juice

2tsp Sriacha

1/2 tsp Sea Salt

2 tsp sesame sauce (i totally forgot about these…sorry kris!)

Cut the cabbage in rounds and then half them (cut the core out of each section instead of initially or you have nothing to hold on to!) 1 inch thick half moons…place  onto a rimmed cookie sheet. Mix together all wet ingredients and coat both sides of the cabbage. Place the oven on 450…cook for 15 minutes, take out turn cabbage over and cook for an additional 15 minutes.  I mean look at this yummy plate!!!


I love cooking for my family!!!


Ok now lets see how it turned out!


Everything was delish to death…but the cabbage def won my vote for yummiest!  Time to clean!


Besssst day ever!!!  Grandma Apple it wasn’t the same without you!!!  But I have to say Team Apple did  you proud girl.  Best day of life! Love you guyyyyys to death!!!  Dear Christmas, You’re my favorite! Love, Sara


#vintageteamapple #ogcandymakers


Two Meatballs: Cabbage Farts for Days!!!

The cooking segment is back!  #yourewelcomekelly As you have seen from both Jenny and I this month has been a total food fest!!!  So forcing ourselves to cook was a must and a struggle this week! Last week when we were supposed to cook we went out for a sushi date instead, so this week needed to happen!  But we were smart…we cooked the comfiest food of alllll time…crock pot pork tenderloin with cabbage, carrots and onions!!!  First off…nothing is easier than a crock pot meal and second of allllll……yummmmmmmmmm!!! Let me paint a picture of what my cooking fantasy is…Jenny and I jackass around, have so much fun, learn a new recipe  and then we sit down with Brandon and enjoy an amazing little meal that we just prepared with love and healthy vibes. Now,  let me just pop that bubble and tell you that that has literally NEVER happened and tonight was no exception.  Let me paint the reality of cooking night.  I had to work until 8, so Jenny had actually started hours before I got there.  This is the scene I walked into at the Smith home.


Jenny was writing the blog you read yesterday.  I was starving when I got off work so I stopped by Chickfila and got a salad and devoured it at their dining room table solo as soon as I walked though the door!


Brandon was glued to the Hurricanes game which he explained thoroughly how the points system works! #iunderstandhockey now #thanksbrandon


The house smelled farty  but somehow yummy for sure…you know what I’m talking about right ladies…house full of stewing cabbage!!!! So how do you make this fall comfort food!?  Here is your ingredient list:

1 cup Apple Cider Vinegar

1 cup water

1 tbsp. salt

1 tsp pepper

2 tsp paprika

2 lbs. pork tenderloin

1 onion chopped

4 carrots chopped

1 head of green cabbage

Put slow cooker on low, dump all veggies on the bottom, then lay the pork on top of that,  then sprinkle all the seasonings and then add your wet ingredients and cook for 6-8 hours!!! Jenny literally did all the work here!


So what are the three best friends who anyone could ever have (did you see what I did there!?) to do while waiting for the pork to cook!? Well snuggle on the couch and act a fool of course.  I used to spend endless hours with these two!!!  This felt great and super duper comfy…the theme of the night!


Sooooo fun!!!!  The three of us haven’t been in a room together for more than five minutes in ages and it was soooo great!  We talked a lot about how hard it is to stay focused while losing weight…our major fall cravings, how mean your brain is at sabotaging a good food day and just struggles in general!  Then we watched youtube videos and reenacted terrible commercials! We discussed if you could lose a pound every time you farted that all we would eat is beans for life!!!  #meatballssssss And there was def a moment where we all broke out into “These Boots Were Made For Walking” which turned into a conversation about cassette tapes and Michael Bolton.  Welcome to the land of ADD and 4 city!



Then the timer went off and it was time to sample! #ourfavoritepart #fattypatty’s


It looked amazeballs.

It was verrrry vinegar-ey so we added a cup of water to the recipe above.  But it really grew on us and was so comfy and warm!


Is there anything better than cooking with friends!?  I think not!!!!  We hope you have a great day and if you are struggling to get back on track just know that we are too… but it is possible and it’s happening as we speak! #allthreemeatballsgetyourheadsinthegame


My dream came true the next day…what a lovely little meatball power lunch we had…we are both back and in the mother fuzzing game!!!


Love y’all!!! PS…Jenny and I both got new hair today!   Thanks Natalie!!!!



Two Meatballs: Gettin’ Zesty!!!

It’s been soooo long since we cooked!!!!  I think the last time was the BBQ fail!!!!!  So tonight, in an effort to stay on track we wanted to start the week out right!!!!  And how better to do that than MEXICAN food!  The last time I cooked in my crock pot I almost set my house on fire and ended up with two charred hockey pucks…lesson learned…the more fluid the better!  So tonight we did Salsa Verde Chicken, Mexican Cauliflower Rice and for dessert Fried Honey Bananas!!!  And everything was yumlicious!!!!  First off let me apologize for my intense level of ugly tonight…I had a long weekend but somehow Jenny managed to look adorable…thanks bitch. JK love you.  Ok so here is the recipe for the slow cooker chicken…


I realized after the fact its hard to read…but 2-3 lbs of chicken breasts plus 16 oz salsa verde and put it in a crock pot on low for 5-6 hours and ta-done!


Then we needed a little mood music…enter Big Boi….


Then we started on the Cauliflower Mexican Rice…

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Then on to dessert with Jenny!!!

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These were yummy!!!!

Here is our final result!!!  We added Trader Joe’s corn salsa and spicy guacamole to our dish!!!!



Everything was soooo goooooood!!!!!  We hope you enjoy! Xooxoxoxoxoxoxo Here is one final filthy haired image to haunt your dreams!


Two Meatballs: So You Think Meatballs Can Dance, Dance , Dance…

Sooooooo…we have another big weigh in coming up…it’s 12 days until we hit the scales and Jenny and I both are STUCCCCKKK!  We both understand that this is part of the progress but some times you just need to talk it out…


And who better to talk it through with than your meatball!?  Turns out we were both worried about the SAME thing (shocker)…what if we don’t lose any weight before the 1st!?


We would probably be supes dupes sad…


Then really angry that all of our hard work wasn’t paying off…



So we talked it through and realized that not losing any weight would make for an extremely relatable post…everyone hits a wall on their path to wellness…


We just have to stay positive and know that we have each other!!!  We know that you’ve heard this from us before but we just have to keep reminding ourselves that there are hiccups on this little baby.  So what should we do to get ourselves re-motivated and celebrate the great progress that we have already made?!?!


Date night with out super best buddies…Kelly and Krista!!!


And what shall we do!?  Well since Jenny and I have the most supportive group of people surrounding us we are going to my sister’s house for a paleo app night and watching the greatest show of all time….So You Think You Can Dance or SYTYCD as it goes with the Beard girls. This are our ballet poses…we used them to get pumped up for the night ahead!

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Who is this adorable!?!  Let’s see what Kelly has on the menu tonight!?!

Grilled Squash and Zuchinni…toss in olive oil, salt and pepper and grill for 20 minutes

Roasted okra (recipe on previous blog)

Meatballs (ohhhhh the irony) jalapeno and mango from CostCo

Sweet Potato Chips and Guacamole (recipe on previous blog)

Stuffed Jalapenos…She found this one on pinterest…its the one you stuff with pulsed cauliflower and wrap in bacon


Sounds amazing…time to cook!


Food Safety tip (of her finger) (see what I did there) from Kelly on how to use a Mandolin and survive to tell the tale…


Safety first dammmit!

While the food was cooking what better way to prepare yourself for the greatest dance competition show of all time than DANCING!!!! This totally counts as cardio right Sandra!?! Here is our dance genre retrospective…you’re welcome!


May I have this dance?!


Middle school slow dance…




Twerking…(so sweet of them to play our reindeer games)


Old School…


Hip Hop…






The Jive or Disco…I’m not sure…


Heyyyy…how did that get in there…we are clearly losing focus and getting sweaty!!!  Time for sup sup…


yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum….it was soooooo good!!!


Meatball cheers…get it!?

What a great night!!!  Jenny and I are always looking for creative ways to be social without drinking and eating terribly!  This night included all paleo food, tons of cardio and my very favorite people on earth!  Who could ask for anything more.  Thanks Kelly and Krista…we love you!!! Now…on to the show!


Time for the outtakes!!!

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We love y’all!!! Have the best day EVERRRRRRRRR!



Two Meatballs: Will Cook For Labor!

You guyyys?!  Little inside scoop on me…I am not handy! I have great ideas and I’m a good worker but the inner workings of the executions are lost on me. I am also co-dependent.  I feel very capable but I just think all things are more fun when you do them together…am I right ladies!? (hello TWO meatballs!)  Being single, vertically challenged, overweight and without a ladder of my very own makes even simple tasks like changing a lightbulb for instance DIFFICULT! So what’s a single gal to do…sweetly ask for the help of her family and friends!!!  Lately I have been receiving soooo much help and just support in general and I couldn’t appreciate it more!  I’ve been hooked on HGTV for awhile and needed a summer makeover at casa del Beard.  If you saw my house you would say…yep that looks about right.  It is chock full of neon pink bathrooms with dead doll chandeliers, tons of quirky art and one hundred thousand million pictures. BUUUUUUUUT there were some areas that were lacking.  I think bc of my continual hangover that lasted all weekend every weekend from my former life…there were just a lot of things on my list to do that never got ta done.  Well with a clear head and my new budgeting skills this girl went out and bought a grill, patio furniture and gave my prison inspired bedroom a much needed facelift.  Home Depot, Target and Home Comfort are my new looooves. So I called in the troops and offered a barter system of food for labor and they oh so sweetly agreed!


Who is cuter than these two!?



Oh wait…maybe this little shark!


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This was our oh so helpful buddy Doug at Home Depot who I think would rather be gored by a bull than take this picture!

Obvi I needed help and a wayyyyy bigger car than Jane Honda.  My parents are total life savers.  Now time to assemble this mess!!! Sidebar…I was helping not just snapping 1000 photos!  Thank goodness my family likes the camera!


It wasn’t the easiest project but the end result was totes worth it…I can live outdoors now!!!!



On to my sad sack of a bedroom.  I repainted awhile back and I wanted everything gray…I went full 50 shades…but then because of my intrinsic laziness and before mentioned challenges when it comes to projects…i never hung any of my artwork back up …and I chose a gray bedspread…and I felt super bummmmmed every single time I looked around!  It so did not feel homey to me…time for change!

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Ugh….sooooo much better!!!!  Now I just love waking up in that beautiful room every morning!


On to the grill  which was assembled minus the propane tank which I had to call my buddy and old roommate Matt over to help me bc it made a terrible…I’m gonna describe it as explosive…like impending death sound when I attempted to hook it up!  He seemed to have no trouble at all…thanks Matttttt!


Loving this outdoor lifestyle now and grilling will open up so many more cooking options so that i wont get bored and my child like mind can stay entertained! Which brings me to my next segment called…how do you repay all these acts of kindness!?  With healthy delicious food made with your love and appreciation…ding ding ding! So I invited my family over on Sunday to thank them and show off my new grillin skillz (yeah I did a z…what).  So what’s on the menu today???

Chimichurri Ribeyes, Garlic Roasted Green Beans, Roasted Sweet Potatoes and Butter Roasted Corn on the Cob!!!!  Holy yum balls this was sooo good!


Here are the recipes:

Chimichurri Marinade:

1/2 cup red wine vinegar

3/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

2 cups fresh cilantro chopped

1 cup fresh parsley chopped

4 cloves of garlic minced

1tsp sea salt

combine all ingredients in a food processor and pulse until blended.

Pour 80% of this over your steaks…we had 6 ribeyes in a glass cooking dish and cover and let marinate for at least an hour.  Take steaks out of the fridge 45 minutes before cooking to let get to room temp.  Turn grill onto medium high heat and cook for 3-4 minutes per side depending on your preference.  yum yum yum


Then I preheated the oven to 450 degrees…where is the degrees symbol on a laptop!? hmmm….i digress.  Take the husks and silky stuff off your corn, butter it and wrap individually in tin foil then place on a baking pan and roast for 30 minutes.  Then toss your green beans with EVOO and garlic salt, place on a foil lined pan and place them in the oven next to the corn.  Then slice 3 medium sweet potatoes and toss with sesame oil, sea salt and black pepper and place directly onto a baking sheet that you have sprayed with coconut oil and throw those bad boys into the oven as well!  My house smelled like HEAVEN.


Reserve the last 20%…see there is the percent sign but I still don’t know where the degrees button is!?..of the chimichurri sauce for dipping that yummy steak and everything else in and blam…lunch is served!


I cannot explain to you what a total 180….where is that god forsaken degrees button!?!?!?… this is for me.  I used to only be responsible for showing up at gatherings bc it was common knowledge that I could NOOOOOOT cook.  At most I could be trusted with bringing a soda…maybe a store bought dessert.  I’m def the baby of the family.  And I know that this post sounds like I am helpless damsel in distress but really I’m just a lover of great company…I just want to spend endless amounts of time together! And I want to pay back the years of never contributing food to the family cause.  And look at those faces…this was yumo!  After lunch the kids were full of Urkle entertainment and we enjoyed the new outdoor options at Mo’s house (that’s me you guys)..


Chase is really good at going potty solo but just has no idea where those pants are supposed to go’s too high or too low…and Wyatt is always down to entertain.  He will kill me one day for these pics!


Those hiney’s…those wedgies…I love these kids…they are so fun and soooooo funny!  I hope that you try out these recipes and love them as much as we did.  Have the living best day!  Love you all…and thank you again to all my family and friends who help me out allll the time!  PS JENNY I MISS YOU COME HOME!!!!