As you read, my vacation was everything.  I have set my intentions to be peaceful, open, loving and centered and I truly felt that while at the beach.  I typically feel a little drained when I get home from vacations.  But because of the rain and where I am in my life right now, it really forced lots of quiet, reflective time.  I also really felt like I let the ocean wash my grief away.  I had lots of happy memories of Gigi while on vacay.  Little things seemed to pop up everywhere I went that reminded me of her and made me feel like she was still with us. This was us last year at the same time!

We happily talked about her a lot.

Writing that letter really helped me process my unknown unresolved feelings connected to her passing.  I feel like the loneliness and anger have moved along and were washed out with the tide which feels so peaceful. I ended vacation the same way that I started.  I came home early to go to Class 6 of Beginners yoga with my sister Kelly.  This was great on several levels.  While one vacation I really wanted to relax so I didn’t work out. Coming home to yoga got me back into moving my body.  Also, I had been missing my sister like crazy sooooo I literally couldn’t wait to see her.  Kelly, can i just saw how grateful I am that we are doing this together?!  I didn’t know that we could be get any closer but I really appreciate this time we get to spend together.  I really love you and I didn’t realize how much I was missing being with you, beyond just being gone for vacation. #sohappytogether #gettingevencloser #sharedactivites #cohabitation #whatdopeoplewiithoutsistersdo!?

Nancy was in training this day and Meg was our instructor for the day!

We connected right away.  I asked her if she was into taking a picture and she said sure, which one us is going to do the headstand and which one of us is going to do the split! Hahahahaha, love her.  If you’ve never taken yoga, I can’t tell you enough how life changing has been for me.  First of all I want to thank my client Catrina (who you’ll remember from our Pure Barre date)

for introducing me to Bliss Body Yoga.  I had told her I wanted to get into yoga and she told me about their beginners series and the rest is history!  I honestly cannot thank you enough, can’t wait to see you soon!!!  XOXO

I have really been searching for more spirituality in life and a deeper connection with myself and others.  Every class, you are simply practicing.  Every class is a gift.  And to get to do it with my sister makes me feel even more connected to her.  When your instructor talks, it always feels like she is talking directly to you.  Whatever the lesson, it feels so relevant to everything that is going on in your life.  Meg talked a lot about the juxtaposition of yoga.  How you have to have the foundation to  have the freedom.  How you have the flexibility and the control.  Balance.  The class  was amazing, as always.  We focused on bridges into shoulder stands.  I can’t do a shoulder stand yet but what I love about yoga is that I get to find my own way there.  I get to keep practicing.  There is no expectation, no judgment.  We are all learning together.  They show you the full range of a pose.  It is inspiring and exciting to think of what I’ll be able to do in a year!  I already feel stronger.  I love the control of the poses, the breath used to expand and contract.  I could go on forever about this.  Kelly and I went to lunch at Guasaca (the living best place on Earth)

afterwards and just talked about our life goals and they were very similar.  Ultimately we both want to strive for peace because we feel like everything will fall into place from there.  I took a nap when I got home and did some laundry, but kept the relaxing, reflective time going.  Then Sunday morning I woke up for a Pure Barre class with the amazing and Raleigh famous Maureen!

Everyone I know, knows this woman and what a pleasure it is to know her.  She is Nikki’s client at Samuel Cole and she has read our journey and been a supporter long before I came to Barre.  She always has a kind word and tells everyone to read our blog.  She is just as supportive in class.  She always tells me I’m doing a good job even when I can clearly see that I am in no way shape or form doing what everyone else is doing.  I understand my own limitations so much better now.  I don’t need to compete, I just need to show up and keep striving to get better.  One day I will be able to table top my legs.  One day I will be able to keep both legs in the air and my head and shoulders lifted.  But I’m going to be patient and just keep at it.  I mean look at how sweaty I am.  I love this place, this workout and Maureen so much.  There are a lot of yoga elements in Pure Barre.  We do cat, cow, locust, cobra and lots of other stretching throughout this challenging workout.  It felt great to be back and this was Class 5 out of the Back To Barre 10 Challenge. Almost there!  Then I went grocery shopping and Targeting.  I came home, threw tomorrows meal in a crock pot, cleaned and unpacked then met my sister for Restorative Yoga with Barbara from Bliss Body Yoga.  Who am I…2 a days!?!  Yogaaaaays…this class with a body melt.  Talk about relaxation.  This class is the living embodiment of peace and balance.  You do 4 or 5 assisted, supported poses.  You set yourself up with blocks, blankets, bolsters (oh my) and find a comfortable way to support yourself through a single pose that you hold for 10 minutes. The focus was heavy on the breathing and sending light into your heart.  It was like adult nap time.  Yesterday Meg said people either love savasana or they hate it.  It is a lot of quiet time alone in your head and in your body!  Well, I am in the love camp.  #duh Restorative Yoga was like an hour and 15 minutes of savasana.  This really didn’t feel like heart pumping exercise (because it wasn’t at all), it felt like a calm gift. Our instructor introduced the idea of this kind of restoration as a necessity instead of a luxury.  #imonboard  We did a side pose and had the bolster behind our back.  She said what does it feel like to have your own back. It was very empowering.  I felt the expanse of my breath and I felt so in control and so connected to everyone in this small space and everyone in the world.  It’s that juxtaposition again.  The universe is inside of you, you are yoga.  Yet you are a small being inside of the vast universe and we are all connected.  This will be a part of my life for the rest of my life.  I am hooked on the way yoga makes me feel.  I love feeling like the possibilities are endless and that it will always just be something I practice no matter what my skill level becomes.  Thank you Kelly for wanting to go today.  I love trying new things with you.  It feels amazing to get to know ourselves better together.

Since I am finally listening to myself and the universe and finding way to replenish my depleted body, heart and mind, I now have the energy to do the other things that need to get done!  I came home, finished cleaning and unpacking and cooked up a storm.  I spent Sunday getting back into the swing of life and didn’t once feel overwhelmed.

Then on Tuesday, the living best thing happened, my Meatball joined me and Kelly for A Flow Basics class!!!!!  Jenny and I have been really disconnected lately, mostly because of my vacation, but we needed some quality time.  She came over Monday night after I went to Pure Barre and she went to Body Pump.  We really have changed.  No matter what is going on, we keep finding our way back to exercise and each other.

We snuggled on the couch and talked a lot about the future and being present and I told her I was going to join the yoga challenge at my studio!

She said she would love to take a class and it happened the next day…I mean somebody look at all these trees!?!

What a fun way to be together and to do something nice for yourself.  So many of my favorite people in one pic!  Then Jenny and I went and had a healthy dinner date…

And just kept this lovely flow and exchange of ideas going.  We ended up talking half the night.  WE are both in such good places right now and so open to change…to thinking of things in a different way.  So glad you came tonight and so glad to be on this ever evolving journey of self acceptance and health with you Jenny. XO

Lifestyle changes are really something.  Getting things done and being prepared to eat healthy and scheduling ways to keep my body moving have now become so easy since I’ve learned how to really take care of myself.  If you are struggling to lose weight, just know that you have to start with actually getting healthy on all levels; your mind, your heart, your soul and then your body will fall into place.  This will always be more than calorie counting and bootcamps.  But it is possible and it will always be a jounery of ups and downs. We have your back while you try to find out how to have your own. Namaste.