health, fitness, beauty, motivation, plus size, make up, hair, hairstylist, oribe, bumble and bumble, MAC Cosmetics, comedy, Paleo, besties, best friends, meatballs, exercise, life change, lifestyles,

Two meatballs: Hey A Girls Gotta Eat?!?!

June 18, 2014health, fitness, beauty, motivation, plus size, make up, hair, hairstylist, oribe, bumble and bumble, MAC Cosmetics, comedy, Paleo, besties, best friends, meatballs, exercise, life change, lifestyles,twomeatballsgetfit View all 4 comments

Jenny and I are finally back in the same city and it feels famazing!!!!!!! On Sunday I went over to her house and we had an Orange is the New Black marathon… It was so great to just hang out.

If you don’t watch the show first of all. .. why not… second this is the intro which blares an amazing Regina Spector song that we obsessively sing. .. This is us trying to recreate that mouth shot #fail

This last one’s the best for sure. .. anyways… it was so fun. .. on to the work week!

We are both trying get back into our routine! While I was at work Jenny and some of our co-workers went to a hotlates (hot Pilates)( see what I did there ) class to switch it up. She has done hot yoga in the past and it was literally hell on earth to quote her… She was intimidated to say the least. But she loves her work girls sooo much she decided to give it a try. .. And It was gorgeous in there. The place is called Burn and it’s in Brier Creek. ..

Our instructor was Melissa…. another hottie patotie with a mission for fitness.

Ewwwwwwwwwww… look how sweaty but I felt amazing! Thank you so much Natalie and Dempsey for bringing me along!

It was 92 degrees and you are on your back the whole time with one pound weights for me. .. I was feeling really cocky. ..I’m an idiot. .. it was so hard. It takes such strength in your core and balance to even do the moves. But I did it …I went all the way through and I would completely do it again! It was a great detox. Thanks Natalie for pushing me to go. .. I’m glad I finally went!!!!

Burn offers lots of different classes like cycling, yoga, trx stuff and other hot exercise programs if you’re into that sort of thing… This is Sara’s nightmare.

Later that evening. .. Jenny came over and we got to cooking! Oh how I’ve missed this!

What’s on the menu you ask. .. PORK! !! I’m typing this on Jenny’s phone and it’s driving me crazy. .. sidebar. Ok so we made Asian pork chops and broccoli fritters. They don’t really go together but it’s what called to us on Pinterest!

We made the marinade first. ..

Then place in oven at 350 for 25 minutes and make sure they are cooked through!

Recipe courtesy of thrifty mom via Pinterest.

Both recipes required chopped onions… which resulted in these photos. ..

Back to the pork. ..

Dance break. ..

Thanks Kanye!
Back to broccoli fritters. ..We both wanted something a little comfy foody!
Recipe courtesy of Your paleo recipes via Pinterest. ..

These were so fun to make as you’ll see. ..

They were so yummy and as per yoosh my house smells amazeballs!!! Next week I leave for a week at the beach so we are trying to cram as much time Together as humanly possible and this was a great way to start. Hope you make these yummy meals and enjoy! Love you love the meatballs!!!!

Two meatballs: Hey there’s sand in my meatball!!

June 17, 2014health, fitness, beauty, motivation, plus size, make up, hair, hairstylist, oribe, bumble and bumble, MAC Cosmetics, comedy, Paleo, besties, best friends, meatballs, exercise, life change, lifestyles,twomeatballsgetfit View all 2 comments

London and I packed up all of our favorite things and headed to Coralla beach in the Outer Banks! For me it was my beach chair, snuggly hoodies, and the scent of sun lotion. London packed all 6 stuffed puppies and her tooth brush. This kid is really into oral hygiene!! We had the best time! It was the best group, my sister (kitty), her husband Stevie! !!!!!!!!!! (Yelling his name) uncle Rich, Cristi(his gf) my mom Dede and Papa(Aaron).

Kitty arranged for us all to go out in a hummer tour of the wild beach horses. It was amazing and hilarious! Those horses behind us violently got it on. It was definetly something you would see on national geographic. And I couldn’t stop laughing because London was screaming and crying . She was so confused and we were all a little terrified!! It was awesome and definitely the first icebreaker of the trip!

Our guide Dave was the best. Make sure you request him. Hilarious and knowledgeable.

London loved it!

Kitty and Stevie! !!!!!

She had to get a souvenir horse. Chestnut!

So sweet! Forget dolls this girl wants a farm!!

On the boardwalk

Dinner!!! Yes, it was amazing!!!

After this amazing dinner, we all wanted ice cream! I am obsessed with ice cream. The Pozarycki’s have been known to throw down on some ice cream/ frozen yogurt!!! So I did it! Three nights in a row. That third time I started feeling guilty. Surprisingly my body was loving it. There were no blowouts. I was certain my body would reject it with instant diarrhea. Nope. I felt famazing!!! So I attempted insanity.

Mmmmmm not for me. Me brother does it 5 days a week. Totally impressive. In a couple of months I will attempt to workout with him again. Instead my sister, Stephen , London and I walked around our beautiful beach neighborhood in the evening. We did my favorite things and Just jackassed around the house.

We even had a family scavenger hunt! Kitty is the best!!
So I did pretty well! I’m super relaxed and ready to tackle this!!! I love my family so much! They are the best support a girl could ask for ! Can’t wait for our next vacation!!! Love you guys! Working out with Sandra on Thursday, ahhhhhhhhh…..so excited!!!!!

Two meatballs: To have and to hold!!

June 16, 2014health, fitness, beauty, motivation, plus size, make up, hair, hairstylist, oribe, bumble and bumble, MAC Cosmetics, comedy, Paleo, besties, best friends, meatballs, exercise, life change, lifestyles,twomeatballsgetfit Leave a comment

Hiiiiiiiii its Jenny!!!! I had the best vacation!!!!!! I was surrounded by my most favorite people all week. Except my favorite meatball!!!! Seeing the blog everyday definetly kept me more connected to our journey while I was gone. I missed Sara so much. Anyway on to the vacation!!!!! It all started with the sweetest wedding of Alley and Neil! Alley and Brandon worked together at 96 rock back in the good ole days. Brandon has always been a one man show. He plays the guitar, piano, and loves to entertain. So I was excited to watch Brandon provide the music for Alley and Neil’s ceremony. He was pumped to get back out there!

He was awesome. These moments make me fall in love with him all over again! They were married in the sweetest chapel in historic Mordecai.

And here is the the most fun couple ever!!!

Immediately following the ceremony my inner fat kid was chanting wedding cake wedding cake!!! Shut uppppppp! Chill out kid!!! So then we got to the reception and ate some yummy healthy options.

I was so relieved to see fresh veggies!! Yeah that’s hummus as the bottom. And it was delicious! And of course we made friends with this sweet guys.

He got us any thing we wanted! I really wanted this stuff!!!!

We also ran into our friend Demetri who has had a successful weight loss journey! So it was awesome sharing our story and catching up! He was truely inspiring! I look forward to running into him again at a marathon one of these days. Haha did you catch that!

We had the best time at there wedding!! More to come about my vacation. Glad to be back, thank you for all the support!

Two Meatballs: An Afternoon with Grandma Apple

June 13, 2014health, fitness, beauty, motivation, plus size, make up, hair, hairstylist, oribe, bumble and bumble, MAC Cosmetics, comedy, Paleo, besties, best friends, meatballs, exercise, life change, lifestyles,best childhood, Childhood, family first, history, life lessons, roomies, support, sweet grandmatwomeatballsgetfit View all 13 comments

I have written about her before, but for those of you who haven’t met Grandma Apple…she really is epic! Tuesday I wrote all about me and Kristina’s adventures in Little Washington with the Apples but did you know that both Kristina and I lived with our grandparents while we went to hair school…both in one bedroom houses…for a year…and LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT! My grandpa was still alive at this time and we had the living best time! Grandma would help me study for my test with flash cards but the answers were Medulla, Mandible or some other long, complicated nail disease. I would say the answer and she would say..I have nooooo idea!!! hahahahahha She packed me a lunch everyday and would ironed my scrubs. She even hemmed my pajama pants while I was sleeping bc she thought they were too long…#wherestheflood! She also insisted on doing my laundry and after three bleach washings I had all crotchless panties! #thanksgrandma

Last week out of the blue grandma called me which she never does and I happened to be next to my phone and answered it. She has the cutest, sweetest voice and I got my gift of gab from her. At first I was worried bc I knew she had had a violent stomach virus the week before and like I said she literally never calls! I said how ya been and she said you know I’ve been better which was hilarious. Then she said why don’t you come see me and bring me some tacos!!! I nearly fell out…you just had the worst stomach virus the world has ever seen and you want MEXICAN FOOD?! Farttttttt….but I would do anything for this woman. We have such an awesome connection and we always have.

So I road tripped it to Wilson where she now lives and walked in…two crunchy taco supremes in tow…to see this…

Janet Apple is COMPLETELY obsessed with The Big Bang Theory and more importantly Sheldon Cooper…banzinga! But no really she has their tv schedule memorized. I almost wet myself. She told me all about how a buddy from church rigged their Secret Santa so he could give her this…she is soooo loved. So onto lunch…

Look how happy!!! She is the most pleasant human ON EARTH! One thing to know about The Apple residence is that you have to bring your own food if you want to eat healthy! They have literally always had the cupboards , fridge, candy jar and freezer stocked with complete shit…which was super exciting as a kid but a slippery slope for this meatball! So I came prepared with those spicy ass chicken legs from last week…

And this to save my life…

But here is a glimpse into her processed food world…

There is always a candy jar full of treats! Grandma lives for peanuts, chocolate covered cherries, a “come” of ice cream, popcorn, saltines and milk, Hershey’s miniatures and peanut butter bread. I gained at least 20 lbs living with her…she used to make a pan of biscuits with every meal and we had a standing beer and pizza night! She definitely feeds you with love…and high fructose corn syrup! Anyway, I was not tempted in the least. Grandma Apple has always been concerned with my weight and used to find adorable little ways of putting us in the same boat so that we could “get healthy together” even though she is the tiniest human. She is sooooo sweet. So today when I walked in she said…how much have you lost and I said 42!!! To which she responded…I want it to be 100! Hahahahahaha me too girl. I have always loved going to this woman’s house and not just for the endless buffet of terrible snacks! She has such an appreciation for history. She is a great story teller and archiver…there are one million picture scattered around her house of the family that she loves soooo much!

And on top of that 1000 photo albums!!! Which is my personal heaven!!! There are crafts from loved ones…mostly my mom all around. The apple memorabilia is abundant. When I was little I spent a week at my grandparents and when I came home I told my dad…grandma taught me how to spell my last name…I was only 3 or 4 so he said ok lets hear it. I said A-P-P-L-E. My grandma thought it was the funniest thing…bc my last name is Beard!!!

She has all my favorite books and games from childhood and being at her house is the living embodiment of childhood! She would always let us play with everything and I certainly got my love of chintzy, colorful jewelry from this lovely lady…

I know that when I see her I will get some Grandma lectures and we will solve all the worlds problems. I could talk to her for days on her swing and rocking chairs on the back porch. She cracks me up, she is so bright and positive and fiercely loyal to her family. She had a flaming red puff ball of hair while I was growing up and I longed to be a redhead as well much to my own mothers dismay! I idolized my grandma and I still do to this day. We have been roommates at her house and every year at the beach and over the years we’ve become close friends…she trusts my advice and she knows I would do anything to help out. We’ve been through some tough times…Grandpa Apple passing, her sister losing her battle to cancer, Buddy Cat having to be put down and so much more but family heals all and we’ve been through so many more good times…so many family vacations, making little cities in the back yard, helping out with chores, graduations, sleeping on the back porch, going to the waterfront, laying out on the dock on the Pamlico Sound, singing MC Hammer with Kris on road trips, dancing to Iggy Azelia on the way to the beach, Unto These Hills and KOA campgrounds, watching PBS while they beg for money, watching family guy and king of the hill together, graduations, weddings, making Christmas candy with Kelly and Kris, 100,00 Heath Bar Blizzards from Dairy Queen, playing in the kitchen at the elementary school where she worked…but I know that the best is still to come!

We used to watch 60 Minutes together every Sunday and during the intro when they say I’m Leslie Stall, I’m Ed Bradley, I’m Morley Safer…she would always say…annnnnnd I’m Janet Apple and then make the ticking clock noise!!! This is one of the trillion reasons that I want to spend every waking minute with this sweet baby angel. How lucky can one girl be!?!? Grandma…you are the living best and I love you soooooooo much…no you hang up…no you hang up! #bestroomieever #snnnnnnakes #mush #oodlesofnoodles #heathblizzards #dominoesthegamenotthepizza #afghans #searscatalogue #rotaryphones #harlequins #paintbynumber #backporch #lifelessons #grandmaplaits #seemmelike #spitjar #badboysbadboyswhatchagonnado #Yankees #wheresmybelt #loveyoutoobob

Love you GiGi!

Two Meatballs: A day in the life…

June 12, 2014health, fitness, beauty, motivation, plus size, make up, hair, hairstylist, oribe, bumble and bumble, MAC Cosmetics, comedy, Paleo, besties, best friends, meatballs, exercise, life change, lifestyles,twomeatballsgetfit View all 2 comments

First…I miss my Meatballlllllll!!!!! I’m going to squeeze her to death when she gets home!

Anywho…last night my sister came into the salon to get her hair done! Then we went to Whole Foods for dinner and I tried some raw food…yummmm

which got all up in my teeth…

and some new probiotic drinks…

Yuckkkkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyy…they were the living worst. I love trying something new but its back to Kambucha for this gal!

Then we talked about going to the gym…

But instead we went to my house and talked for hours on my couch about life and everything in between. We always dive deep and I love it!!!

Then I really wanted to get rid of the grave yard of products and makeup in my room and I thought who better to donate to then my sweet Kelly!?!

She made out like a bandit #sisterswag!!!

Then I went to bed and woke up bright and early! I hate doing my hair…soooo much. I’m not sure if it’s because I do hair all day or if I’m just lazy but it’s not my jam! I have to spoonful of sugar it and make it soooo fun! So I blast Pulse 102.3 in the am’s and dance around my room…take a shower…and then do my hair! I hardly ever wash my hair bc its dryer than the Sahara. But when I do I use Oribe’s Gold Lust Shampoo and Conditioner because it is the Fountain of Youth for your Hair…who doesn’t want that!?!?!

But most days it’s just dry styling for this lazy lucy…which involves my favorite hot tool…my Bio Ionic Curling Wand…best purchase of life…warning its super phallic! #bigdickstylingwand #whyyyyyy

I break it into sections and wind my hair around until I have beachy waves…then I spray with Oribe’s Dry Texturizing Spray and do a little back combing! I heart big hair…to quote Aretha Franklin…”I’m a big woman and I need big hair”. Then I take Bumble’s Grooming Crème and massage it in to my parched ends.

Then I divided it into two sections and literally tied it into a knot twice and bobby pinned the edges and topped it all off with a cat headband.

Then I put on my makeup… I’m MACsclusive and I live and breath this line!

And created this look…

hahahahahahahahthese faces…#whataminewatthis!?

I like it bright…its Dolly Mix blush with Heroine lipstick…and then I put on some clothes!

I love animal print more than life…it’s such a plus size cliché but I feel like I’m just living out my spirit animal fantasies!

Now its on to breakfast…

My normal kale smoothie has given me a belly ache the last few days…too much kale?!?! so I went old school with bacon, eggs and pineapple!

yummmmmmm!!!

Then I always slam a glass or two of water to start my day off right and don’t forget allergy meds and probiotics!!!

Speaking of water…yesterday I failed so mother f-ing hard. I put my FUUULLLLL LifeFactory water bottle in my beautiful leather bag WITHOUT the top on….ooooph! So now I’m rocking my super cool Fleet Feet bag! You’ll notice that the water is OUTSIDE of the bag. You’ll also notice that I have gym clothes in my bag…cause tonight I’m not just going to talk about it…I’m going to do it!

Sidebar…last week my adorable clutch met its untimely death…it literally ripped apart…woopsie daisy! So I replaced it with an adorable flowery one!

Then its off to workkk…

And my daily workout….these fizzing stairs…

A quick peek at my schedule and a pow wow with my new associate Melanie and set the music up for the day…

Then its off to do clients! My first client Carly used to work here and I just love her…she had a bit of a makeover in mind!

and we nailed it! It was so nice to catch up and she asked if The Meatballs would speak at her women’s group! Yayayayayay!!!

After a few more clients I caught up on some paperwork!

And then had some lunch. I took the rest of that Chimichrri Marinade and slathered some chicken legs in it and baked them for 35 minutes at 450!!!

And checked in on some stats for the blog…we are almost at 18k views!!! Holy granoli!!!

Then I had a one on one with my sweet Nikki!

Next I had a meeting with my awesomeboss (I’m saying this like Awesomesauce) Joelle!

I love my job soooo much! I don’t know how I got this lucky…a positive attitude and hard work!!?

Now off to the gym…

So…I’ve been trying to just keep up with this all day…I was being very proactive and optimistic and then the flippin bottom fell out and a transformer blew…and we lost power BIG TIME!!!

Huge shout out to Veronique for holding a flashlight so I could see to cut and Ashley for snapping some pics! Also thank goodness the two most hilarious teenage sisters were in my chair!!! We had the best time in the dark doing huge transformations. Between the two of them they got 13 inches cut off!…xoxo Anna and Caroline! They reminded me sooo much of my sister and I!!!

I work like 1/2 a mile from the gym so as I drove by on the way home, the light at the intersection was out and the businesses all looked dark and gloomy…just like the sky…

Soooo…change of plans! I was running our of food for the week so I hopped by The Fresh Market as it is infinitely closer to my house than Trader Joe’s and as a tornado survivor I don’t f around when the sky looks that creepy! Shout out to Dempsey…I love my new 31 bag and have already put it to great use!

On the menu for tonight…Honey Soy Chicken ( I don’t use soy, I use coconut aminos) from a post a few weeks ago and roasted okra and asparagus with olive oil, salt, pepper and cayenne powder!

Then I talked to my bffffff Katie on the phone for a hundred years to plan my trip up to NYC to see her for her 30th birthday!!!

I literally cannnnnnot wait. We just don’t see each other enough anymore! Ok now its late…that was my day! Hope yours was as exciting and full of spooky power outages! xoxoxo

Two Meatballs: Will Cook For Labor!

June 11, 2014health, fitness, beauty, motivation, plus size, make up, hair, hairstylist, oribe, bumble and bumble, MAC Cosmetics, comedy, Paleo, besties, best friends, meatballs, exercise, life change, lifestyles,art, chimichurri, co dependency, curtains, diy, extreme makeover home edition, family first, fintess, grateful, grill, grilled steak, grilling, healthy cooking, healthy recipes, home, home depot, home goods, home makeover, home projects, love, love my family, my healthy journey, new healthy ideas, paleo, paleo recipes, patio furniture, target, teamwork, thankfultwomeatballsgetfit View all 4 comments

You guyyys?! Little inside scoop on me…I am not handy! I have great ideas and I’m a good worker but the inner workings of the executions are lost on me. I am also co-dependent. I feel very capable but I just think all things are more fun when you do them together…am I right ladies!? (hello TWO meatballs!) Being single, vertically challenged, overweight and without a ladder of my very own makes even simple tasks like changing a lightbulb for instance DIFFICULT! So what’s a single gal to do…sweetly ask for the help of her family and friends!!! Lately I have been receiving soooo much help and just support in general and I couldn’t appreciate it more! I’ve been hooked on HGTV for awhile and needed a summer makeover at casa del Beard. If you saw my house you would say…yep that looks about right. It is chock full of neon pink bathrooms with dead doll chandeliers, tons of quirky art and one hundred thousand million pictures. BUUUUUUUUT there were some areas that were lacking. I think bc of my continual hangover that lasted all weekend every weekend from my former life…there were just a lot of things on my list to do that never got ta done. Well with a clear head and my new budgeting skills this girl went out and bought a grill, patio furniture and gave my prison inspired bedroom a much needed facelift. Home Depot, Target and Home Comfort are my new looooves. So I called in the troops and offered a barter system of food for labor and they oh so sweetly agreed!

Who is cuter than these two!?

Oh wait…maybe this little shark!

This was our oh so helpful buddy Doug at Home Depot who I think would rather be gored by a bull than take this picture!

Obvi I needed help and a wayyyyy bigger car than Jane Honda. My parents are total life savers. Now time to assemble this mess!!! Sidebar…I was helping not just snapping 1000 photos! Thank goodness my family likes the camera!

It wasn’t the easiest project but the end result was totes worth it…I can live outdoors now!!!!

On to my sad sack of a bedroom. I repainted awhile back and I wanted everything gray…I went full 50 shades…but then because of my intrinsic laziness and before mentioned challenges when it comes to projects…i never hung any of my artwork back up …and I chose a gray bedspread…and I felt super bummmmmed every single time I looked around! It so did not feel homey to me…time for change!

Ugh….sooooo much better!!!! Now I just love waking up in that beautiful room every morning!

On to the grill which was assembled minus the propane tank which I had to call my buddy and old roommate Matt over to help me bc it made a terrible…I’m gonna describe it as explosive…like impending death sound when I attempted to hook it up! He seemed to have no trouble at all…thanks Matttttt!

Loving this outdoor lifestyle now and grilling will open up so many more cooking options so that i wont get bored and my child like mind can stay entertained! Which brings me to my next segment called…how do you repay all these acts of kindness!? With healthy delicious food made with your love and appreciation…ding ding ding! So I invited my family over on Sunday to thank them and show off my new grillin skillz (yeah I did a z…what). So what’s on the menu today???

Chimichurri Ribeyes, Garlic Roasted Green Beans, Roasted Sweet Potatoes and Butter Roasted Corn on the Cob!!!! Holy yum balls this was sooo good!

Here are the recipes:

Chimichurri Marinade:

1/2 cup red wine vinegar

3/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

2 cups fresh cilantro chopped

1 cup fresh parsley chopped

4 cloves of garlic minced

1tsp sea salt

combine all ingredients in a food processor and pulse until blended.

Pour 80% of this over your steaks…we had 6 ribeyes in a glass cooking dish and cover and let marinate for at least an hour. Take steaks out of the fridge 45 minutes before cooking to let get to room temp. Turn grill onto medium high heat and cook for 3-4 minutes per side depending on your preference. yum yum yum

Then I preheated the oven to 450 degrees…where is the degrees symbol on a laptop!? hmmm….i digress. Take the husks and silky stuff off your corn, butter it and wrap individually in tin foil then place on a baking pan and roast for 30 minutes. Then toss your green beans with EVOO and garlic salt, place on a foil lined pan and place them in the oven next to the corn. Then slice 3 medium sweet potatoes and toss with sesame oil, sea salt and black pepper and place directly onto a baking sheet that you have sprayed with coconut oil and throw those bad boys into the oven as well! My house smelled like HEAVEN.

Reserve the last 20%…see there is the percent sign but I still don’t know where the degrees button is!?..of the chimichurri sauce for dipping that yummy steak and everything else in and blam…lunch is served!

I cannot explain to you what a total 180….where is that god forsaken degrees button!?!?!?… this is for me. I used to only be responsible for showing up at gatherings bc it was common knowledge that I could NOOOOOOT cook. At most I could be trusted with bringing a soda…maybe a store bought dessert. I’m def the baby of the family. And I know that this post sounds like I am helpless damsel in distress but really I’m just a lover of great company…I just want to spend endless amounts of time together! And I want to pay back the years of never contributing food to the family cause. And look at those faces…this was yumo! After lunch the kids were full of Urkle entertainment and we enjoyed the new outdoor options at Mo’s house (that’s me you guys)..

Chase is really good at going potty solo but just has no idea where those pants are supposed to go afterwards..it’s too high or too low…and Wyatt is always down to entertain. He will kill me one day for these pics!

Those hiney’s…those wedgies…I love these kids…they are so fun and soooooo funny! I hope that you try out these recipes and love them as much as we did. Have the living best day! Love you all…and thank you again to all my family and friends who help me out allll the time! PS JENNY I MISS YOU COME HOME!!!!

Two Meatballs: An Ode to the Irreplaceable Krilfistilfina!

June 10, 2014health, fitness, beauty, motivation, plus size, make up, hair, hairstylist, oribe, bumble and bumble, MAC Cosmetics, comedy, Paleo, besties, best friends, meatballs, exercise, life change, lifestyles,best cousins, best friends, besties, bumble, Bumble and bumble, career change, Childhood, cousin bestie, cousins, Family, family first, family friends, family love, House of Bumble, love, Mary Poppins, MOMA, more like sisters, NYC, pig latin, relationships, relationships change, rihanna, salons, seperation anxiety, stay at home mom, stay at home moms, travel, work with family, working with family, Your cousins are your first friendstwomeatballsgetfit View all 6 comments

I talk a lot about my friends and family…they are my life! But my cousin Kristina was mos def my first built in friend. I had the greatest childhood and Kristina is a huge contributing factor to that happiness !!! Look how sweet we were!?!? And Uncle Marty…those shorts…hellllo!

We are only 2 1/2 years apart and we spent soooo much time together that she was always another sister to me…

Another sister that would actually play with me! (yeah I’m talking to you Kelly! xo)

This is us on Christmas morning at our Grandma Apple’s…we spent a ton of time together with our grandparents splashing in puddles during storms, spending countless hours at the library and in the cemeteries, sitting outside of haunted houses, playing in the camper, playing Old Maid and Chutes and Ladders on repeat, going to the Piggly Wiggly and playing at the park across the street. They even took us to Disney World where we spent more time in the motel pool than in Disney and we created our own language to fit in with the international fans of the park! Look at those fanny packs! #toocoolforschool #shegotgumstuckinhersantradedwithme #peopledontforget #sneakysnake #sushihead

We also went to Sea World…we didn’t know back then…no judgement!

We put on little plays for our family…

But mostly we just played…for hours on end…

We even Trick or Treated together…

And around this age there was just tons of driving around in her car, smoking Newport Mediums…woof and singing Fiona Apple, No Doubt and the Dixie Chicks…and being completely inseparable! We went to 100,000 movies, the zoo, watched Miss America while eating chocolate chip mug cookies (which Kristina invented), forced ourselves to watch every scary movie ever made, had one bazillion sleepovers, beach vacations, riding on the nose of Uncle Al’s boat singing Walking on Sunshine, getting whelps from sitting in Jellyfish poison, rv-ing in the mountains, seeing outdoor plays, played Family Feud non stop on our ancient computer, she would call me sushi head and I would cry(this was on the way to Disney so I was much younger but it still stings! haha), playing on our bicycle built for two and our super cool crutches, we played every game and put together every puzzle known to man and sooo much more! Like any family relationship/friendship there were def rocky times and lots of games where we hit each other violently but the good times always outweighed the bad and I always knew she had my back and I knew I always had hers.

We just remained really close and eventually our circles of friends all merged into one. Kelly and Katie, Kristina and myself were together most weekends….we celebrated recitals, birthdays, graduations, weddings, babies and just generally enjoyed spending time together.

Then the most amazing thing happened…we both became hairstylists and ended up both working at Samuel Cole Salon…for the past nine years! Who is this lucky to get to work with their best friend cousin sister Kri Kri K-Dog X-Tina five days a week…every week!?!? Working together has afforded us so many opportunities that we got to share together. We have trapesed all over NYC together taking the best classes at the House of Bumble, going to Broadway shows, MOMA, eating at some of the best restaurants, performed Thai Chi in Times Square, created a living art instillation, almost got murdered at the Hotel Chelsea #rapeportal #theshiningmeetscsi, and stalking…I mean bumping into Rihanna at the W #thereisnophotobcwereidiots!

We’ve been through promotions and title changes, countless Bobbies, Grand Re-openings, salon moves and newer Grand Openings, awards, she was even my model for an editorial submission…but most importantly we just got to spend time together! When Kris first came to work at Samuel Cole, I was so excited I found myself hugging her everyday…no shocker for me right Melinda, but for those who don’t know my cuz that well…hugging is not her jam. She had to impose a once a week hug mandate on me…bahahahahahaha! I tried but failed!

Kristina has the most contagious laugh…she literally cries she laughs so hard, she has unbridled joy for cookies, she so fucking smart and I believe she could perform surgery just through sheer will and determination, she is the best mom and an awesome sounding board with great advice. Those are the things I’ll miss the most…because my sweet friend after having her third child has decided to stay home with her kids. I love hate this decision soooo much. But I couldn’t be happier for her and I will just have to trek it out to Wake Forest a little more often…to see her…and her fun kids…and her husband Tim whom I adore #winwinwin!!! So, to Kristina…I have cried at least three times writing this. I feel so lucky that we are sooo close and have all this amazing history together. I love you to the moon and back and then back to the moon again. So many of my fondest memories involve you and I wouldn’t want it any other way. You are the reason I went to hair school and I just couldn’t thank you enough. I’m so glad that we get to be a part of each others lives forever. Love you cuzzy wuzzy.

Ps if you are wondering about the title…Our Grandma Apple made up her own pig latin and that is how you say Kristina…Krilfistilfina…Mine is Sarlfara. Get it..nope we don’t either but we can all speak it fluently somehow! I LOVE YOU KRIS! #bffffffffffffffs #bestcousins #luckytimesinfinity

Two Meatballs: Pickled Meatball

June 9, 2014health, fitness, beauty, motivation, plus size, make up, hair, hairstylist, oribe, bumble and bumble, MAC Cosmetics, comedy, Paleo, besties, best friends, meatballs, exercise, life change, lifestyles,365 days without alcohol, binge drinking, drinking problem, fate, fitness, honesty, journey to health, lifestyle change, new friends, paleo, random acts of kindness, relationships, sobriety, support, Trader Joe'stwomeatballsgetfit View all 14 comments

Hiiiiiiii you guys!!! How was your weekend?!? My other half left for the beach yesterday!!! I’m so happy for Jenny that she gets to enjoy a week at the beach with family!!! Soooooo what’s the plan you say?!? I’m going to take over the posts for this week so she can really enjoy herself. What have I been up to…so nice of you to ask…This weekend I went to the gym Saturday and Sunday morning…check!

BAM

KABOOOOOM

This is my new favorite ritual…meeting my adorable parents and sometimes my sister at gasp…8am at the gym…on the weekend!!!

Oh how my life has flipped, turned upside down (do you see what I did there…fresh prince-in’ it up). Then we have breakfast at Whole Foods…what could be healthier?!

Just four months ago I would have been so epically over hung from a night out at Saints and Scholars that all I would have been capable of doing was eating Bojangles…main lining Diet Dr Pepper and hiding in my dark , freezing cave of a den…frequently napping and texting apologies to my friends and Victor, the owner of the bar for loud, inappropriate things I yelled and glasses I cheerfully smashed. I have always been a big drinker and quite frankly I never really trusted those who didn’t drink. I’ve briefly touched on this subject before. I don’t know if I’m an alcoholic but I do know without a shadow of a doubt that I have a drinking problem.

I’m your classic binge drinker…like everything in my former life this was just another excess. It’s safe to say that I was always the drunkest person in the room and I think the only reason I still have friends is that I’m a happy, fun drinker.

I don’t know anyone who had more fun than me in these pictures and in the moment…but the feeling the next day…to quote Jenny and Howard McLaren…wooooooooof! No one was more unaware of their limits than me! The regret, the guilt, the dress I barfed on in my sink, the actual hangover, the void in my bank account, the lack of a voice, the empty Cookout trays, the stranger in my bed, the inability to recover as quickly as I did when I was 18…oops I mean 21! This last picture is from Aruba on my 30th birthday. It was the best of times and it was the worst of times…We literally drank and smoked from 11 am to 3am for a WEEK! When I got home I felt like I was 130. I think my body was trying to prepare me for this ultimate fate…I was hitting rock bottom. But I’m the type of girl who has to put her hand in the fire and at the time I prided myself on not being a quitter…I persisted and just kept partying my ass off! My body had had it and at the beginning of this year I was sick for three months culminating in walking pneumonia…you guys…I GAVE MYSELF WALKING PNEUMONIA! Bc I couldn’t see the correlation between my partying ways and my declining health…probably because I was wasted! So when Jenny and I decided to change our lives, I knew I had to quit smoking (I only smoked when I drank…but I drank all the time!) And I knew the only way that was happening was if I quit drinking. I told myself…just for a month so you can really focus on getting healthy. Well a month flew by and I was shocked to find out two things…one I didn’t miss it…like at all and two I felt one trillion times better! Today is my 120th sober day. I feel amazing…I genuinely don’t miss it and am not bothered or even tempted in the least being around others who are drinking. Who am I?!? I believe so strongly that everything happens for a reason so I’ll close this story with this little coincidence. Last week I decided that I was going to give up drinking for a year. My boss sent me a link to a blog where a woman my age who I totally relate to gave up alcohol for a year. I hadn’t really started taking about it bc I wasn’t sure I wanted to commit…I had told a few clients and a handful of coworkers…but I still just didn’t know. So Saturday I went to my Mecca…Trader Joe’s. I stocked up on lots of healthy food for the week and even splurged and got some beautiful fresh flowers…fresh flowers are my favorite!

As I was checking out, Jackie whose line I had been in a handful of times, was so pleasant and just chatting it up about everything in my cart. She then slid my new obsesh…raspberry lime sparkling water over the scanner and said don’t you love this!? I felt an overwhelming urge to tell her about my newly found sobriety…so I did. And to my amazement she began to tell me about her own success…she had been exactly a year on her own journey! How cool for her to confide this huge milestone to me…a relative stranger. But this one small exchange between two people helped me solidify my plans for my own year without alcohol. Then she became even cooler and almost made me cry…she leaned over and quietly told me that my flowers had been taken care of by Trader Joe’s to celebrate the good news. So to Jackie…congratulations and thank you soooooo much for opening up to me…it happened at just the right moment, and thank you soooooo much for my flowers!

Who needs another reason to love Trader Joe’s?! But there it is. So many things have happened since Jenny and I started on our journey to health but what keeps getting reaffirmed for me literally everyday is that if you are honest and open…there’s no telling all the wonderful people and stories you will find. Xoxo Jackie! And here’s to the next 245 days of clean living. Love you all!!!!!

Two Meatballs: Fat Back Friday is Dead!!!

June 6, 2014health, fitness, beauty, motivation, plus size, make up, hair, hairstylist, oribe, bumble and bumble, MAC Cosmetics, comedy, Paleo, besties, best friends, meatballs, exercise, life change, lifestyles,twomeatballsgetfit View all 2 comments

Say it ain’t soooooo!!! But it’s true…We are down to the last sad scraps of #fbf!!! I think we will make like a Flash Back Friday hybrid or we’ll figure something fun and awkward out. Only these little gems remain…best for last?!

Ewwwwww…hair school cut!!!

I cannot for the life of me remember what happened but I think it’s smeared makeup!

Our first workout with Sandra!

Sweaty!!!

Haha!!! That face!

Ooooph…but oh how I love those babes!

Meaty!!!
Ok on to the meat (winky face…you see what I did there) of the blog…Our super mother fuzzing hard arse workout was made for much more fit humans!!! Holy schnitzel meister…we almost rainbow barfed all over the place!!! Just kidding…not really…sorta…I mean no cause for concern!!! Spoiler alert we were early so we played a rousing game of find the meatball…

Then caught up on some lite reading…

And questioned whether we were thin yet..

I think punch drunk is the best way to describe us in the pre workout waiting room…have I mentioned I’m not a morning person…like at all?!

Anydoodle…then supes cute Sandra of Innovative Fitness Connection walked us into our doom…oh gosh sorry I mean really fun workout!

So today was a big circuit with eight exercises…for two rounds then eight exercises with variations for two rounds…but first we warmed up by doing laps with high knees (hiney’s haha) butt kickers, goose step things and then overhead bars!

Ok back to the circuit…today we decided to get smart and take pictures of Sandra doing the exercises so you could see what they are supposed to look like!
1st thing 20 lb dumbbell overhead tricep dips (all done for time)

Then two 12 lb weight bicep curls but they had a name like hammer toes…hammer curls?!

Then bent body sand bag lifts (35 lbs)

Then rope waves…

Then side fast feet runs on a ladder…

Then kettle bell swings

Then push ups…

Then…wait for it…wait for it SQUATSSSSSSSSSSSSSS on the trx which we actually love!

Is Sandra not the living cutest!!!???

This went on for two rounds…

Part two of circuit training came with variations. So triceps went from overhead to elbows glued to sides and an up and down motion with dumbbells…Biceps went out to the sides instead of on front…sandbags were first with a wide grip round one…Round two had a narrow grip…ropes became slam ropes with squats…the ladder became fast hop scotch…the kettle bell went to clean and press…the push ups turned into clock work planks and squats became burpees! Here is a montage of our workout!!!

As you can see…I do some modifications from what Jenny is doing. I’m very competitive but I’m also 100 pounds heavier than her and I can’t do everything she can…YET! But it’s only a matter of time! And let me just say…Jenny is a beast…especially with lower body and general intensity! Arms are my jam! This is the exact moment that I ran out of gas…haha!!!

This is soooooo genuine…

This is called over acting haha…

Please look at Jenny’s face!!!

Before…

After…

Sandra…thank you for pushing us…we are really seeing results…even if we are incapable of speaking during the workout!!! Xoxo…everyone…have the best weekend!!!

Two Meatballs: Date Night!!!

June 5, 2014health, fitness, beauty, motivation, plus size, make up, hair, hairstylist, oribe, bumble and bumble, MAC Cosmetics, comedy, Paleo, besties, best friends, meatballs, exercise, life change, lifestyles,twomeatballsgetfit View all 2 comments

Hiiiiiiii everyone!!! So last weigh in Jenny and I had a little shopping spree at Torrid as our celebration and it was so fun!!!

This time we wanted to do something different and let’s be honest…less expensive…am I right ladies?! Jenny is leaving for vacation on Saturday…for a week…

Then she comes back and then the week after that I go on a week long vacation…

All this time apart…What are we going to do?!? So we thought we better make this little weigh in celebration count. Soooooo what should we do (thinking faces)…

And then we had a brilliant idea…

Why don’t we go see a movie???!!!

Yay!!! We are wicked smaaaat! But the movies can be a slippery slope…soda, candy galore and fatty fat fat butter popcorn OH MY!!! So we planned ahead and packed some healthy-ish snacks and our new fav Trader Joe’s raspberry lime sparkling water!!!

We have to have a million options so I made little goodie bags with frozen grapes, salt and pepper pistachios, seaweed snacks, my personal obsession white cheddar corn puffs and two kinds of dark chocolate almond concoctions for Jenny!

Disclaimer…We did not eat all of THIS…We just need lots of choices. So…how are we going to smuggle all of this contraband into the theater you ask…enter amazing Fleet Feet bag…

Not suspicious at all right?!…shout out to Fleet Feet…bet you didn’t think you’d be helping two little trouble makers break the rules..but hey…it was all in the name of healthy snacks…I smell a new mission statement FF!!!

Shhhhh….don’t rat us out…

Jenny texted me when she got off work and I met her across the street from Samuel Cole Salon at Six Forks Cinema…the living best theater!!!

Sweet Ashley rang us up and politely ignored our illegal food and drinks that were sloshing around in the Fleet Feet bag…

And she even agreed to snap our picture in front of the movie poster for Malificent because we are children and we wanted to see this bad bitch in action…

We walked into my movie fantasy…an empty theater!!!

It didn’t stay that way for long so luckily we got our Jackassing out before the others arrived…

I know it looks like Jenny is shoving garbage bags or a bat in her mouth but that’s the seaweed snack!!! We came prepared so we weren’t tempted by any of the shit at the movie and since we are both budget conscious…This date only cost us 9 bucks a piece!!! #winning and hello did you see all that cardio and planking we did before we stuffed our faces…that’s for you Sandra!!! The movie was awesome…Angelina Jolie is stunning and the music was so loud we talked through the whole thing without totally annoying everyone around us…maybe?!? We highly recommend the movie and breaking the rules and bringing your own snacks!!!

This is exactly what we needed…some time together before we get ripped apart for half of the month!!! These meatballs love you…thanks for celebrating another great weigh in with us. Also thanks again everyone for your oh so kind words…you have no idea how much it motivates us!!! As always here are the even uglier outtakes… #ghostface #anythingtomaketheotheronelaugh
#seaweedalloveryourface #badbitches