Back in the day……16 to 23, I would have been able to lower my food in take,  before a wedding or if I just wanted to feel really good.  Well now a days……I’m so not capable of temporarily starving myself anymore.  Somewhere between working full time and being a mom,    And we’ll just being a human….food is an essential.   So days before the weigh in, a little voice in my head,  a 20 year old Jenny says, make the most of this week and and don’t eat!!!!  Well just as that thought enters my mind it leaves within seconds.  I want to lose weight the honest way.  By doing a lot of this……..

I have been at fitness connection as much as possible the last two weeks.  So much so, that a trainer finally approached me after being a member there for over a year, and said I was obvisouly looking for results.  Yes I am sir!!!!!  Working hard feels good enough.  Working hard and then refueling with food feels powerful.  And so much more controlling,  then false control that comes with choosing to starve.  So  then I headed over to the mall to look for a dress for a wedding I am going to this weekend. This is not the dress I bought.  But it just feels good to go into a dressing room and everthing goes on, and dosent make me break out in hot flashes.

I love ove a dress with pockets.  But this style kind of makes me feel like Alice in wonderland.  Not this worst thing,  but when you are 5’0 ft tall , you look for sophisticated, not child like.   I still liked it!!!  Maybe next time.

I walked into work and found these things!!!!

Banana, almond butter sandwiches dipped in dark chocolate!!!  Thank you silvi!!! My new favorite sweet treat.  Real food is so good.  It reminds me I don’t need cotton candy, or cake batter in my life.  Unless I decided I want it.  Haha,  having chocies is powerful!!

after that I found this………

The biggest zucchini I have ever seen!  I work with some farm girls.   And they always come baring gifts.  These monster zucchiniS  could make a shit ton of zoodles.  As you know, my favorite.  Sour round by so much support today.  Feeling grateful!!  Come on weigh in, Im ready

a support group is so important when you are trying to change your life.  We are have the best family, friends, and clients!!!!!  Ahhhhhhhhmazing!!  The last couple of months my workouts have really been a struggle.  Months ago I over extended my arm during a work out and from that moment on my shoulder  has really been bothering me.  It was so soar when my arm was raised at a 90 degree angle.  When you have an injury, you realize how much you use your body and how important it is to take care of it.   Well, sara has heard me bitch and moan over my shoulder, and showed up at my house  one evening with an amazing gift.  A structural, wisdom massage!!!!  Sara gave me a brief description about what to expect.  She let me know that Terri was really good at identifying the problem areas in my body that could be increasing the pain in my body.   So I was excited.  I didn’t want to hear I needed surgery or  be recommended painkillers.   Natural has always been my approach, when it is possible.   So Terri had me fill out a medical form.

so so it was time to finally meet her, and she took me to her work room, and it was super relaxing in there.

I always get get a little nervous before massages.  I’m sure sensitive and ticklish,  so human touch can some time make me jumpy if it is not a strong touch with purpose.

Terri evaluated my posture and stance and then began the best massage of my life.  She really focused on the areas I expressed were really bothering me.   It was amazing, I even fell asleep a couple of times.  Which has literally never happened.  An hour and half later , it was over and I felt incredible.

When it was over,she had a spiritual reading to share with me if I wanted it.   Aaaaaaaa of course I do!!!!  Amazing.  If anyone wants to know about Terri, i would be happy to share her info with you!!   Sara, thank you so much for sharing this experience with me. Loved it and my shoulder feels great!  Love you so much friend!!!  i appriciate you taking care of me, when I don’t!

well after my healthy healing, thought I should make a healthy dinner!!!!

i marinated chicken breast in olive oil, garlic, basil, and lemon for 3 hours.

Then i I suated some fresh spinach in garlic and chicken broth

It it was an amazing healthy day.  So grateful.  To be surround by health and wellness.  Weigh in weigh I. Weigh In.  Almost that time again!!! See you soon.  Mmuuuahhh

So I meant to post this yesterday.   And I tried, but do you ever have one of those mornings that go to shit and everything is just a struggle?  I had so many task on my list, that needed to go smoothly, I just had to prioritize.  I couldn’t get the blog to post, so I had to move on.  And I thought about not posting all day!!!  It is so important to me and I couldn’t wait for the day to be over, and get back on track!!  so I’m moving on,, yay!!  So let’s try this again………….

Facebook and Instagram are the best on special days.  Especially this Father’s Day.  You get to see all the daddy love out there.   So being a good member of the Facebook community I had to show my husband some daddy love.  I made such a paleo breakfast that morning!  Eggs, bacon and lots of fruit!  A total crowd pleaser.  And then we went to the movie theater and saw Inside Out in 3D!!!!!  I love movies,  and i am always happy when it is a Pixar movie!!!  So stinking adorable. They have the best life lessons,  and I always end up crying!!!!

I love watching these two interact.  They have the weirdest conversations.  After the movie I went home and took a nap.  I’m such a mom in that way.  I am still not caught up on sleep and London is 3!!  When does that change?!?! So while I napped, those two went on a date to get some ice cream and came home with a new fish.

On saturday, while I was at work, I looked at my phone and received this text.

  #anotheronebitesthedust

next on the agenda,  take care of my sisters chickens while she out of town!!!  So I walked the mile to her house.   And I had instant regret after only a few feet.  I forgot how hot it is!!  Yuck.  And I wasn’t going to turn around.  So I was sweaty when I got there.

So I gave them fresh water and food. So simple.

They are are starting to get really big, and should be moving out to the coop any day now.  It was the most fun, kind of relaxing day!!!   Omg. I fort, I really miss my other meatball.   She gets to enjoy the beach with her amazing family.  yhe beards have the best time…  Can’t wait to see ya meatball.  Last week before weigh in!!!  I’ve been working hard and I know Sara been too, so it feels exciting again!!  Hope everyone got to enjoy all the fathers in their lives!!!   love you guys!

These meatballs are cooking! Yay. I love when we are reconnected and doing things together!!! I’m feeling so much more powerful today then yesterday, and I have had two days of food and excercise success! Hold on……I’m just going to celebrate that for just a sec!!! After receiving all the support after my post yesterday, I feel so checked back in! Thank you so much!!! I was feeling so moved by your comments (Dana!!!!!!! Kindest words ever). I did a little diddy before we started slicing and dicing!!!

So fun!!  Any who….  Time to turn up the heat in here!!!!  So our first meal idea was this yummy sounding rutabaga risotto.  Umm. We could not figure out how to cut this thing up,  so we said the hell with that!!

So we decided to make  zucchini and turnip noodles, with leeks and mushrooms.  There is nothing I love more then the smell of garlic and and onions Sautéing.  For the full recipe you look on our Pinterest board, 6/15/15.

 Garlic!!!!!!!!

  Slicing and dicing onions and leeks!   First time preparing leeks!!

Making zoodles.

  Ummm yum

Add some mush!

 Garnish me!!!!  (Parsley)

and then we tore up a rotisserie chicken like cave women and tossed in with our zoodles.

 Yuck!!!  And yet so delicious !!

   Taste test!!!!!   A little more seasoning please.

next was a squash and corn salad.

 More olive oil.

Squash!!!!!!!!

While that heats up, let’s take a selfie!!!

Dead face.

My fav

Put some lime on it.

Just a little bit of tang!!

Squeeze !!!!!

Amazing, simple and fast!   Cooking together is the best, can’t wait to eat it at work tomorrow!!   Cheers to failures and success!! See ya!!

hey it’s Jenny !  You guys, I had a really down kind of day.   I’m not even sure how it started.   I’m having a lot of feelings!!!!  I have been feeling a little stuck for a while now.  With my weight loss, but also in my professional life too.  Which if you were to look at a chart, I think you would see my personal and professional life usual mirror eachother. When i am on fire, it is everywhere.  When I am struggling to meet goals, i can’t escape anywhere.  To put it bluntly, I am feeling so fat!!!  I feeli like I am 220 lbs again.  Exhausted and completly disgusted with myself.   When I get obsessed with my weight I do really weird things!!!  Like I stay in the outfit I have on as long as possible.  Not because I like dirty clothes, but I hate putting on my clothes when they don’t fit like they should.  It is a constant reminder of how bad you are fucking this up.   Every time I take clothes. Out of the dryer  I pray nothing has shrunk.  Even the tiniest bit.  That is how on the edge I am living with my food. Not to mention the lack of working out.  A shirt feeling tighter then usual is enough to effect my whole day, and make want to cry in that moment.  So this shitty mood really started this weekend, when I went shopping for bathing suits.

I really struggled this day to like anything. I was in the fitting room just getting so sweaty, and feeling so soft and squishy.

Just a reminder.  I hate posting pics of me in a  bathing suit.  This is my nightmare .  Excpecially now!  Staying positive is usually my go to place.  When I am down,  it is really hard to shake it off.  But I think I am ready for my glass to be half full!!  You guys can see our every move.  That is a lot  of pressure.  But I was reminded, one meal at a time!  So I am a fix it immediately person,  and by that I mean…….fix it nooooooowww!!!! And that really is not possible with weight loss.   So all I can do right now is work out!!!!

This  is was a step in the right direction.  I’m going to bounce off these happy, tingly feelings and make this super healthy meal for my family.

It it was delicious!!!!  We can do this.  I m finding food again.  I made zucchini noodles and sauted shrimp!!!  I really would love to get to my goal.  What I did yesterday does not matter anymore.  I can only focus on the change we make today.  Brandon has been so amazing and very supportive.  So grateful.  Sara knew I was struggling and came over too!!!  Love her!!!!!  She’s an amazing friend .  She came baring gifts!!!  So grateful!  Day one done!!  And I already feel more powerful!   Let’s see how day two goes.  Xoxo

settling back into life after our San diego trip feels good!!!  Oh but I forgot, back in March I got tickets tto dashboard confession, and third eye blind for Brandon’s birthday.   So it’s a date!!!  My mom was great and said she would take London for the night.  Which is probably exactly what we needed right about now.  I was completely stressed out from our trip, so just some time alone together would be great.  So I went to work and printed out our tickets.  #productiveworkday

And I even had some time to reconnect with my meatball!!  Oh how I missed thee!!!  Love seeing her face.

Sara and I are sure to have a date night soon!!!!  Any Brandon got off of work and we headed out to red hat amphitheater ,in downtown raleigh.  Neither one of us had been there before.

It was an absolutely gorgeous evening.  And it just felt great to sit outside and take in everything around me.  We had been so go go, that just Sittig there in peace with our beers

And each other was was all we needed.  I think we were both so relaxed just looking at everything.  It was just what we needed, and I didn’t even know it.   Third eye blind was so popular when I was in 7th grade, so it was all kind of nostalgic.

This is such a great area for a venue

The band was ok,  and that was ok.  Just having a few hours to be out of our normal routine and taking a minute to just sit there and breath was great.  There was a warm breeze from a storm coming in, that just felt amazing.   Carefree!!!  That’s it.  Great date night.  Love you B.  Next time,  we will choose taylor swift!!!!

heyyy!  Last Wednsday, the Smiths packed up and headed to San Diego California!!

Our ur good friends Sam and Taylor invited us to there wedding.  Sam is an old buddy of Brandon’s, from their open mic, band days!!  So fun. #ruckuspizza

and they asked if London would be a flower girl…….every little girls dream!!  She was so excited to have a job.  So we got up at 3 30 am and headed to Cali!!!  A five and a half hour flight!!!!!!   I was a little nervous about London,  that’s a really long trip.  So I made sure to have a bag full of exciting surprises!!  Haha nailed it!  She was a total peach.  We had a great flight .

We we were having a ball!

We arrived in San diego at 9 30 am.   So we had a whole day ahead of us…..or so we thought.  We ended up have a trouble at the car rental.  Brandon prepaid for it, and when we got there and they saw the condition of Brandon’s driver license,  which is almost split in two, they totally denied him and it was a big run around to then change it to me,  but it happened!!  Yay. I was the driver…yikes, watch out San diego. After all the crazy driving I needed some margaritas!!’ And London a chocoate milk.

We went a head and did a seal tour!!  You have seen these things….the bus turns into a boat.

The the next day we did sea world!!!!  So fun !!!!!  I think London really loved it.

Next day was the rehearsal.  During this trip London developed a fear of public bathrooms, and has not pooped in 4 days!!!  On this day her stomach started to really hurt.  But she was a total champ and was great at the rehersal.

She was soooo good, we had to take her to her favorite thing in the whole world……a carousel.

wedding day!!!!!!.  I got up early and headed to the brides hotel to do her hair.   When I got back to the hotel London was in a lot of pain,  and begged her to use the potty!!!  She said no way,  I gotta keep it in.  We didn’t know what to do!!!!  She  finally came around and started pushing on the toilet and was screaming she was in so much pain.  So we made an a discsion and gave her a laxative.  I was freaking out, the wedding was only hours away.  I just imagined London shitting down the whole isle.  But she didn’t.  She was so excited and did a beautiful job.

So cutttte!!!!  Cocktail hour time!!! And we had this beautiful view.

And this is kind of where our trip ended.  London looked at me at this moment and said mommy we need to go back to the hotel….and with that, she broke out with the shit sweats.   I got her in the car, and back to the hotel.  Two minutes after walking in, she started screaming…I’m pooping my pants!!!! I ran her into the bathroom and pulled her pants down and out flew a mud pie!!!  Before I could see it ,  I slipped in it, and was covered.  London was screaming. She was horrified that I was covered in her poop.  At this point I was cracking up.  After it was all done she said,  mommy I feel better!!  Falling in her poop was worth her feeling better.  I have no pics of this,  and one day London will kill me for writing this.   But it was soooo funny!!!   And at 3 30 am, we were in our way home.  It was a really fun and chaotic trip!!!  But I’m so glad it happened..  Constantly making memories!!! Happy to be home and writing again!!! Xoxo